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Day: October 1, 2026
Vassar to add new majors in hijinks and tomfoolery
Vassar College announced plans to offer two new majors: hijinks and tomfoolery. Both majors will fall under the college’s recently established Shenanigans Department. The department will be developed further throughout…
Vassar leaves Seven Sisters, now identifies as brother
At Convocation, President Elizabeth Bradley announced to the community that Vassar College was leaving the Seven Sisters. The Chapel’s audience reportedly writhed with excitement, shock and indignation. But according to…
Interviewing a rugby refugee: A harrowing tale
There is one question that Vassar scholars have struggled with for decades: Why does the rugby team always need new players? It seems like a simple question at first, but…
Horoscopes
Aries: Oh no! You have a big event tonight that you COMPLETELY forgot about. The only thing you have to wear is… Shaileine Woodley’s Balenciaga jumpsuit from the 2026 Emmy’s?!…
Caption Contest #1
Follow this link to submit your best caption for this illustration! What are those crazy squirrels up to? Our favorites will be printed in next week’s issue.
We are enforcing the digital surveillance state
We were never meant to be this invested in everyone else’s lives. As much as the digital age may have fostered connection, the societal expectation to constantly feed our lives…
You are a rat in a digital cage! Go to the park!
It is a common struggle nowadays: You sit down in the library to tackle your mountain of reading, when you are inexplicably sucked into the siren song of your choice…
Portland local reflects on growing up a Thorns fan
Stepping off the Washington, D.C. Metro, I was hit with an intense bout of deja vu. Waves of people decked out in Portland Thorns jerseys and scarves poured from the…
Brewers Ballin: Maura McAusland surpasses 1,000 career kills
Name: Maura McAusland Year: Senior Team: Women’s Volleyball Position: Outside Hometown: Manhattan Beach, California Statement: “I couldn’t have gotten to this milestone without my teammates. I’m supported by very talented…