Vassar College announced plans to offer two new majors: hijinks and tomfoolery. Both majors will fall under the college’s recently established Shenanigans Department. The department will be developed further throughout the 2026-27 academic year.
“It’s high time hijinks are recognized as an academic discipline,” said Zach Flisakowski ’27, wearing a clown nose. “I’ve goofed off in class for years and nobody’s ever praised my pedagogical approach to clowning. All they say is ‘stop blowing spitballs at the professor’ and ‘nobody wants to hear your armpit farts.’ Now they’ll see just how seriously I take silliness.”
Classes in the Shenanigans Department will include “Introduction to Clowning,” “The Art of the Pun,” “Slapstick in Society,” “Who Gets to Laugh?,” “Jesters of Time,” “Fools and Folly” and more. Both majors will dabble in theory and praxis. However, the tomfoolery major will focus more on the ideas behind shenanigans, while hijinks classes will be centered around applying practical knowledge to real life.
“This announcement excites me beyond belief,” said Anna Beggren ’27, donning comically large shoes. “I’ve always said there’s nothing funny about tomfoolery. I’m hoping to take ‘Explorations of Tinafoolery’ in the spring. It’s examining the historical context of tomfoolery through a feminist lens. Why does Tom always get to fool? What if Tina wanted to instead?”
Bozo the Clown will lead the department as chair. He will be joined by professors Moe, Larry and Curly, with Abbott and Costello serving as visiting guest lecturers. All Shenanigans faculty and students will have a mandated uniform of polka-dot shirts and suspenders to maintain a focused and streamlined environment.
Some students are concerned with the exclusion of certain comedic arts from the department. When asked to comment on the omission of mime history in next semester’s offerings, Bon Jour ’29 said, “ ” and gesticulated wildly.
The Shenanigans Department will also offer an evil pathway available for both new majors, led by Professor the Joker and Professor Pennywise. Students on the evil pathway must take “Introduction to Scheming” as a prerequisite and will then have the option of classes like “Evildoers and their Evil,” “Sinister Silliness,” “Pranks and Death,” “Mechanics of Booby Traps” and more.
The Shenanigans Department will host a series of events to celebrate the inauguration of their program. Tom Fool himself will be visiting campus in January to deliver a lecture on the significance of ridicule in modern politics as part of the Hee Hee Ha Ha lecture series. Refreshments such as snakes in cans of peanuts will be provided.