Humor & Satire

Horoscope– 4/19

By Hannah Gaven – 1 month ago

Aries It’s time for some of those toxic friendships to go. As it’s almost the end of the year, now’s the time to separate yourself from your friends who fart…

Facebook-hating millenial makes people read her post

By Blair Webber – 1 month ago

Between recent revelations about the website’s role in the 2016 election and general waning popularity among the youth, it’s no surprise that fewer and fewer people you know post on…

Horoscopes– 4/11

By Hannah Gaven – 1 month ago

Aries Since Mercury is in retrograde, you may feel you’re missing out on something. No need to fear; there is nothing to miss out on, except the Vass Shakers Spring…

Gender neutral bathrooms now self-identify as agender

By Blair Webber – 2 months ago

Proving that how you identify can change over your lifetime, the gender neutral bathrooms in Vassar’s All Campus Dining Center have announced that they would now prefer to be referred…

Horoscopes– 4/4

By Hannah Gaven – 2 months ago

Aries I, much like you, feel summertime sadness. I assume you feel the sadness for the same reason I do: You can no longer wear wool socks. While you can…

Some nice advice from the Mice of Main 4/1

By Hannah Gaven and Josie Schermerhorn – 2 months ago

Dear Mice of Main, I’m convinced there’s a ghost haunting my room. Weird things have been happening, like photos falling off the wall and my lamp turning on randomly when…