Humor & Satire

Hookup from orientation remembers Valentine’s Day

By Blair Webber – 6 months ago

Valentine’s Day: a day known for manufacturing disappointment and selling chocolate. Way more boring than Halloween, and with a looser religious basis than Easter, Valentine’s Day largely exists to remind…

Sincerely, me: a candid open letter to Evan Hansen

By Leah Cates – 6 months ago

Dear Evan Hansen, June 11, 2017 was a good day, and here’s why: because on that day your musical won the Tony Award for Best Original Score. But…Original Score?! Really?…

Students plan to improve their lives this semester

By Blair Webber – 6 months ago

The start of every semester offers new opportunities for Vassar students to grow and change. Whether it’s getting involved with a new org, or simply re-committing oneself to long hours…

FBI agents assigned each other’s laptops, fall in love

By Izzy Migani – 6 months ago

BREAKING—Two FBI Agents Fall in Love After Being Assigned Each Other’s MacBook Airs NEW YORK—Having graduated New York State Police Academy, local man Matthew Crispi was handpicked from a pool…

Terrifying middle school diary unearthed during break

By Blair Webber – 7 months ago

Tasked with cleaning out a closet full of keepsakes from her elementary and middle school years over break, sophomore Emma Auguste came face-to-face with the most evil object she’d ever…

DIY: Build your own JY-stay in Poughkeepsie

By Yesenia Garcia – 7 months ago

There are many things I don’t understand about Vassar College. I don’t understand why chili is only served on Wednesdays, why Shipping and Receiving is situated at such an inconvenient…