Humor & Satire

Gender neutral bathrooms now self-identify as agender

By Blair Webber – 7 months ago

Proving that how you identify can change over your lifetime, the gender neutral bathrooms in Vassar’s All Campus Dining Center have announced that they would now prefer to be referred…

Horoscopes– 4/4

By Hannah Gaven – 7 months ago

Aries I, much like you, feel summertime sadness. I assume you feel the sadness for the same reason I do: You can no longer wear wool socks. While you can…

Some nice advice from the Mice of Main 4/1

By Hannah Gaven and Josie Schermerhorn – 7 months ago

Dear Mice of Main, I’m convinced there’s a ghost haunting my room. Weird things have been happening, like photos falling off the wall and my lamp turning on randomly when…

An iPhone note poem

By Izzy Migani – 7 months ago

Shortening chicken broth, both half and Half, New England Roll Yami Yami But, at 11:30, 28th of December, Milford office, Main Street IUD and Email museum Kant is concerned with…

Confessions of a former Copy Editor: Grammar rant

By Tanya Kotru Gode – 7 months ago

This article is going to be a rant,. I have a lot of strong emotions when it comes to correct usage of grammar and the English language. Some might suggest…

Trump causes mass comedian layoffs

By Talya Phelps – 7 months ago

Late-night comedy is in even more turmoil than the Trump White House. Hosts from Samantha Bee to Stephen Colbert are refusing to go on with their shows, claiming that the…

Health service offers free neck massages

By Tanya Kotru Gode – 7 months ago

Vassar’s responsive and effective health service has once again proven that it can provide useful, timely and accessible services to students. Given that students have been complaining of prolonged stress…

Horoscope– 3/28

By Hannah Gaven – 7 months ago

Aries Doctors agree that waking up early and working out before class is a healthy practice. With spring approaching, you have no excuse to skip out on the gym, as…

Humor Editor unveils concept for ‘Rate My Students’

By Leah Cates – 7 months ago

Rate My Professors is my go-to when it comes time for course selection. I know, I know. It’s biased—only the most deeply disgruntled and glowingly exuberant students actually bother posting…