The following is an excerpt from the new bestselling cookbook, “Planning Meals without a Meal Plan,” Chapter 5: “101 Ways to Prepare Spaghetti-Os! (or Less Uh-Oh!, more Yum-Oh!)”
Bonjour and bon appetite! So you forgot to go to grocery shopping. Again. Whoops! A thousand questions must be rushing across your mind: What will I bring to my friend’s potluck? Does kale go bad? Will I eat ever again? Fear not, hungry senior/off-campus resident/smart underclassman! In this chapter, we will be discussing over a hundred ways to prepare nature’s most versatile ingredient: Spaghetti-Os!
Take a knife (or can opener if you have one, Mr. Moneybags) and open your can of Spaghetti-Os. Note the color for freshness. A pale dried-blood red is optimal, but colors ranging from gray-red to just-kind-of-purplish are also ideal. Pour into a bowl, cup, or plate (adventurous eaters only!!!) and place directly into microwave. Zap for precisely 1-7 minutes. Grab a tea spoon, soup spoon, or fork (adventurous eaters only!!!) and enjoy! Yummo!!
Beef Ramen Spaghetti-Os
Open can of Spaghetti-Os. Pour it into some beef ramen that you already made like half an hour ago and is just sitting, tepid, on your counter. Mix to taste. Deeeelish!!
(For more, see Chapter 14: “Nommin’ on some Ramen”)
Spaghetti-Os a la Vodka
Microwave Spaghetti-Os. Drink Vodka until you forget you’re eating Spaghetti-Os. Bon Appetite!!
See Chapter 28: “Cheap Vegan Eats – Do They Exist? No, They Don’t.”
Open can of Spaghetti-Os. Microwave, then throw away and eat an entire box of Ritz Crackers instead. Your organs will thank you.
Sauteed Savoy Cabbage with Scallions and Garlic Meatballs Bien Cuit
One of my favorites. Cook scallion whites and garlic in oil in a 12-inch heavy skillet over medium-high heat, stirring occasionally, until garlic is pale golden, about 3 minutes. Stir in cabbage and meatballs, 3/4 teaspoon salt, and 1/4 teaspoon pepper and sauté 1 minute. Add water and cook, tightly covered, until cabbage is wilted, about 3 minutes. Add scallion greens and cook, uncovered, stirring, until most of water has evaporated and cabbage is tender, about 2 minutes. Season with salt and pepper. Serve with a giant bowl of Spaghetti-Os.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this excerpt as much as you are sure to enjoy my tasty, nutritious recipes. For more Spaghetti-Os Du Jour, be sure to purchase the full volume! From my microwave to yours, au revoir!