Bad television is a relative term, OK?

There are many things I do that are just utterly unnecessary. For example, I buy all my music. I always match my outfit with my underwear. And, I still watch Grey’s Anatomy.

With the premiere of the tenth season of this televisual icon looming on the horizon, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about why I actually watch this show. I mean, it isn’t good. Seasons four through infinity were lackluster at best. Just because you put pretty people against a rainy Seattle backdrop and have Coldplay in the background doesn’t make it television. But week after week my housemate (Hi Emmy!) and I end up crying in front of my computer screen. I’m not entirely sure why, but here are some guesses.

1. It’s been nine years. Grey’s Anatomy is older than one of my siblings. Stopping now would be like Leonardo da Vinci painting the Mona Lisa without a mouth. Like the architects of the Eiffel Tower deciding to paint it puke green. Or like training for a marathon and napping through it. I guess I might actually do that last one, it’s not that unreasonable.

2. Just because I don’t know most of the character’s names doesn’t mean I don’t care. I am thoroughly invested in these people. When one of them does or doesn’t get laid, it matters to me. When they stare into each other’s eyes, I can feel them staring into my soul. The lowest point in my life was when Derek threw his engagement ring into the forest. And that’s saying something. I once had to go to the Social Security Office. I’ve gone to the DMV by accident. I’ve been called “Megan” during sex.

3. Their struggles informed so much about who I am. Everything I know about relationships I learned from Grey’s. Both romantic and professional. Which I think might be why I am the over-sharing, competitive, jealous, emotional nut job that I am today. Who would I be without Grey’s? Functional? Rational? No thanks.

4. Successfully completing Grey’s Anatomy entitles me to an M.D. It has to be true. In the time span of the show I could get at least THREE medical degrees. I’ve seen more open-heart surgeries than most med students. And I’m pretty sure I could MacGyver an operating room out of a broom cupboard. People say all the time that the medicine on Grey’s is inaccurate. Well, screw you, don’t come crying to me when you need an emergency tracheotomy.

5. What else am I going to watch? Good television? The West Wing? Six Feet Under? The Sopranos? No. I am a student. My brain is stuck in the “on” position all day long. If you think I’m going to come back from class and try and parse out political intrigue and snappy writing you’re in need of McDreamy’s neurosurgical skills. There was an episode once with a guy with an ice pick stuck in his head. That’s you. Grey’s is simple.

Now that I’ve thought about it, I guess it’s not that bad that I still watch Grey’s. I’ve grown a lot with this show. And hey, at least it’s not the US version of Skins.

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