#Basic is a biddie who is extraordinarily ordinary; the opposite of being “hip” or a relation of Meryl Streep. How #basic are you? The following quiz lists Vassar-specific symptoms of being #basic. Check them off and discover how #basic of a VC biddie you are.
1. You’ve had a profile picture in front of a tapestry, definitely taken in a dorm room.
2. You’ve hosted a “pre-game” and publicized it on Facebook.
3. You’ve always wanted to have sex in the library but you never have.
4. You go to the gym, just to go on the elliptical.
5. You don’t go fast enough to sweat.
6. You own a Neff beanie.
7. You’ve attended a weeknight Mug night, after your freshman year.
8. You’ve taken an Econ class to scam on the eye candy.
9. You’ve complained about the food at the Deece while you lived in the dorms, but you beg to be swiped in as a Senior.
10. You mobbed the buses at 50 nights.
11. You’ve never read the Misc.
12. You’ve lamented/bragged about hookups over Deece brunch.
13. You’ve gone to Seven Deadly Sins just for the food.
14. You go to anything catered by Twisted Soul.
15. You abhor Crystal Palace but you always buy it for pre-game shots.
16. You’ve taken a class because you heard the teacher was hot.
17. You refer to minors as correlates.
18. You’ve bought a chaser from the vending machines.
19. You need a chaser.
20. You rented the micro-fridge combo from Vassar.
21. You joined Ultimate Frisbee just for the parties.
22. You’ve committed hallcest.
23. You’ve “thrifted” expensive shit.
24. You order a cheeseburger at the Deece.
25. You’ve thrown up in a Joss bathroom.
26. You’ve specifically hung out in the Retreat to be featured in “Word on the Street.”
27. You own a crop top that doesn’t “go” with any of your clothes.
28. You want/ed to hook up with your Student Fellow.
29. You’re SO PUMPED for Founder’s Day but you’ve never been.
30. You’ve snuck beer into an a capella concert.
31. You’ve hijacked the playlist at a party (not your own).
32. Every weekend, you complain about how far the TH’s are. But you always go.
33. You’ve gotten lost on the way to an off-campus party that is approximately two minutes from campus.
34. You want Juliet’s to turn into a Chipotle.
35. When drunk, you’re “the friend” who begs everyone to go to Bacio’s.
36. You’ve gone home with someone from Bacio’s.
37. You’ve quoted Freud in an essay for an Econ class.
38. You hadn’t heard of Danny Brown until ViCE announced the spring concert.
39. You’ve ranted on Say Anything about the lack of “real” relationship opportunities.
40. You’ve stared at Ferry people eating dinner and thought they couldn’t see you.
41. You’ve played Candy Crush on your phone while at a party.
42. You’ve said that TA parties are “classier.”
43. You were dancing on the stage at 50 Nights because you were “VIP.”
44. You’ve laid out on the quad in 50 degree weather, claiming “it’s sooo nice out!”
45. You use hashtags on FaceBook #ironically.
46. When you smoke at parties, you stand directly in front of the house.
47. You’ve cried directly outside a party.
48. You’ve puked directly outside a party.
49. You go to the library and socialize incessantly.
50. You scoff at this list, but secretly, you are perturbed because you fulfill too many of these qualities.
(1-9): You don’t actually go to Vassar. ~ (Michael)
(10-25): You are #basic, but you are #basic in the same way that everyone else is.
(26-40): You are so #basic that it’s your friends mean secret nickname for you.
(41-50): I pity you, but also, I am you. Add me on FB!? ~ (Lily)