‘Emoji Speak’ taking over VC, the World gasping-face

Emojis are becoming more and more prevalent in daily communication. Often used in texts, emails, all types of social media and sometimes daily speech such as, “So excited to see you rosy-cheeks-face-emoji,” Emojis expand on our language practices.

Armed with this information, Poughkeepsie Public Schools have decided to add Emojis to their school curriculum for the 2014 school year bells-and-confetti-emoji. “Starting in preschool, we will present the children with various Emoji icons,” said Jane Bolin, Director of Poughkeepsie Public Schools. “Then, once they enter kindergarten, they will be introduced to the whole alphabet in tandem with the traditional A, B and Cs…with more emphasis placed on Emojis, of course.”

Parents say they are already seeing improvement in their children’s ability to communicate. Mother of two, Sarah Marc commented, “I no longer get the one word response when I ask how their days are. I now get a text message filled with Emojis and complex emotions instead. It’s a miracle. Emojis are slowly restoring my family unit and have stopped my heavy drinking martini-glass-and-frothy-beer-and-clinking-beers-emojis.”

Conversations that take place around the family dinner table have also seen significant improvements. “When we all sit down at the dinner table, we are now able to text each other for flawless communication, because we are all fluent in this manner of speaking hands-praising-the-Lord-emoji,” noted Poughkeepsie parent Jeff MacDonald.

This may be more than just a trend in the Hudson Valley, though, as Emoji speak seems to be sweeping the national and international spheres globe-emoji. A recent study done by the United States Department of Emojis (USDE) shows that communication when using emojis is improved 109.7 percent. It is rumored that the next State of the Union will include a teleprompter with appropriate emojis as to clarify President Barack Obama’s very important message television-set-and-American-flag-emojis.

Emojis also were added automatically to the most recent iOS update and there have been whispers of footnoted Emojis being allowed in MLA format soon extreme-joy-face-emoji.

Current Vassar College students graduation-cap-emoji, especially enjoy the versatility in language that Emojis allow.

Sophomore Paarul Sinha said, “I can send a mean text but play it off as if I’m joking by adding a one-eye-closed-tongue-sticking-out-emoji. Also, Emojis have deepened the level of intimacy of my conversations with people winky-face-and-no-mouth-emojis.”

Further, students have noted another perk of the growing presence of Emojis—there is no longer a need to make an actual description on an Instagram photo. Just slap on a few Emojis and send it, seems to be the general consensus about the matter.

In response to the growing usage of Emojis, Twitter recently released a statement: “A few emotional faces can tell the world how you are feeling just as well as words can sobbing-face-and-angry-red-face-and-firework-emojis.”

The movement has even struck a chord with VC faculty. Roman Czula is rumored to start using Emojis to increase the readership of his In-the-Pink emails. Additionally, some professors will allow them as clarifying footnotes on papers paper-and-pencil-emoji.

Still, the Administration has voiced concerns that those students without access to Emojis may be rendered utterly unable to communicate unamused-emoji.

Sophomore Jack Schrader said, “Sometimes I find it hard to communicate with my peers. For example, they will text me, ‘Want to go to the mug salsa-dancer-emoji?’ and the Emoji just shows up as a black box on my phone. I am completely lost on the meaning of the text and it’s tearing me apart!”

Even with these concerns, it seems that the use of Emojis will continue to grow across the Vassar community, Poughkeepsie and beyond. The number one complaint of Vassar students about Emojis is the lack of a womp-womp Emoji gushing-tears-emoji. “This really limits my ability to show what 90 percent of my thoughts are about. Right now I have to use the koala, bunny and rat Emojis all combined,” said student activist Christine Silvera. However, she has started a petition on Change.org, so this issue should be resolved in the coming weeks bugel-and-confetii-emoji.

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