Ask Banner actually assists students with preregistration

Dear Banner,

I know that I am supposed to a mature college kid capable of choosing my classes, but sometimes it is hard for me to get past my inner twelve-year-old. What should I do if my draw number is 69 or 420?


Middle Schooled

Dear Fart History,

It’s brave of you to admit what makes you silently giggle in class when you turn to a specific page, or when you look at the num­ber on your retreat order slip. Have you ever thought about how eight people per semester have those numbers? You should get them all together for a group photo or something not related to the connotation of those numbers. To answer your question, it depends on the number. If you got 69, reverse your thinking and take a class you would never expect to be in. As for 420, that means to study very hard so you can blaze through all your homework. Dearest Banner

A professor can make or break a class, but somehow I don’t trust Rate My Professor. Maybe it’s the layout of the website, or the fact that “Hotness” is considered an import­ant category. How should I go about choosing my professors?


Google for days

Dear Mr. Internet,

The internet does not hold all of the an­swers, and you can definitely do better than a color coded smiley face to get a grasp on how your educators work. A good way to figure out if a professor is right for you is to give them all a lenghty application. After all, you had to do it to get here. Only a few essays, a creative haiku and mime routine can really decide who should be able to have the privi­lege of determining your GPA. Make sure that professors know that the “optional” talent portion is mandatory.


So I’m looking to major in urban studies, but I also really like math. However, I’m fas­cinated by puddles, and wouldn’t want a dou­ble major to take away my time from studying them. Is a drama correlate doable? Can I have a “Take Art 105” button ironically?

Please help,

Spread Thin

Dear Thin Ice,

The first step I would suggest is to take a deep breath and just lie down in one of those puddles you are so fascinated by. Let the dirty water wash over you. Maybe feel a floating worm touch your face. The calm unhappiness you feel in the puddle is what you should feel when you choose your path of study. Just remember, there is virtually no chance that you are talented in all of these fields, even if you are a modern day “Renaissance man.” To learn more about the Renaissance, you should definitely take Art 105.

Dear Dr. Ask Banner,

I played sports early in high school, but I don’t do them anymore. I’m thinking about registering for the waiting by the deece grill for chicken seminar for credit, but I’m not sure I like the class. What I mean to ask is can I be an Econ major even if I come in at only a 2 on the bro scale?


Mold Breaker

Dear Deece Chicken,

Not all Econ majors are bros, bro. Just be­cause you see it on Yik Yak doesn’t mean it’s true. Remember that time you yakked about a fire alarm that wasn’t actually happening? Banner does, because Banner is all knowing. Maybe sit in on a few of the Econ depart­ment’s deece grill seminars to see how you feel about them before making the decision to register. Sometimes, the conversations in that class can be a bit dry, but overall, it is great food for thought.


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