What to expect when you are expecting (a prospie)

Hosting a prospective student is quite the adventure. It’s definitely not for everyone at Vassar, regardless of how nice we are as a collective student body. Therefore, I’ve compiled a list of pros and cons to help you decide if you should host a prospie on campus in the near future.

PRO: You are the cool person hosting a prospie. Well, being the cool person hosting a prospie is obviously a plus.

CON: Homework still exists. [Insert silent sobbing here.] You could possibly have a boatload of homework in addition to playing the role of a gracious host. Test to cram for? Essay to squeeze out? Readings to skim? Yep. As they say, there is never enough time in college, no matter how much you try to prioritize and organize.

PRO: Legitimate excuse for procrastination. Oh yeah, all of that homework? Guess what? Now you have a fantastic excuse for an extension on an essay…or just to not do work.

CON: Their schedule is your schedule. Prospies want to check out classes, see the campus and picture themselves at Vassar. You’ll have to take your prospie places, meaning you’ll have to wake up earlier than usual, sacrifice that much-needed nap and/or end up late for class, all because you had to drop off your kid for their first day of school.

PRO: Hah! Take that, pedometer! If walking around campus doesn’t get you that 10,000 steps, I don’t know what will. A hike to Sunset Lake is already pretty far, but if your prospie is interested in science or music, the Bridge and Skinner Hall are also on the opposite end of campus from the quad.

CON: Fire alarms could go off at any second. Yikes. Let’s just say there’s some addiction to microwavable foods and weed on any college campus. Vassar is no exception. For example, I took my prospie for a trek to the ninth floor of Jewett to look down upon the quad, and we had to walk down endless flights of stairs to avoid the “fire.”

PRO: Wow, an alternative to the coveted tour guide job! If you were rejected from one of the most sought-after jobs on campus (walking around backwards while talking about Vassar), what better way to get your revenge than to host a prospective student?

CON: Stingy meal swipes! Prospies get a solid three swipes to our beloved Deece: one for dinner, late night, and breakfast. If your prospie intends to stay longer than expected, you’ll have to feed them with your Arlington bucks or a friend’s VCard or let them have at your food stash.

PRO: Change of pace and social charity all at once. You get to mix up your schedule and influence someone’s decision on where they want to spend the next four years of their life.

CON: No partying/drinking/smoking, etc. You’re a role model for your prospie, so that’ll be a no to immoral behavior.

PRO: You’re planning for parenthood. Your prospie’s well being is your responsibility.Where they sleep in your humble abode, what they eat and how they dress for the weather depend on your influence as their guardian.

CON: They could be mad annoying…But you can’t say so because, well, human hospitality.

PRO: You like psychology? I like psychology! Admissions does a spectacular job matching interests, so you won’t struggle to come up with things to talk about or academic buildings to focus on.

CON: I like psychology! You don’t like psychology? Well, that’s awkward. Even though Admissions tries to match interests, sometimes your prospie is interested in so many things that your interest is only 10 percent of their exploration.

PRO: You don’t have to lie to them about Vassar’s awesomeness. Vassar practically sells itself with its breathtaking campus and nice peeps, so hosting is a low-stress gig because everyone at Vassar loves prospies and is lovely toward them. Your prospie will think you’re super popular and simultaneously feel the nurturing and welcoming atmosphere our student body embodies.

CON: You still have homework. (Sorry.)

Whether you consider hosting a prospective student or not after reading this article, know that it’s a rewarding experience with relatively minor drawbacks. You are essentially a parent for the day without the financial crisis! So get out there and keep being awesome and warm to prospies!

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