A study by Fictional State University (FSU) shed light on a question that plagues all students: Should I be skipping class? Professors chanted horrifically, “Sure, who cares? They’re the ones that will have to pay a lifetime of debt for education, so let them sleep.”
Professors have a hard enough job working long hours without overtime to worry about one missing quiz. In fact, they want to use that time for fun things, like anything not involving you. They absolutely would rather shape the minds of people who want to learn and don’t ramble half the class to buy time. They know for a fact you didn’t study at all and are still nursing two weeks of break hangovers. You think they can’t wait to hear why you haven’t even started on your paper that was assigned before break, but they know it’s probably because you couldn’t even remember your name most nights. You may be thinking “Woah this feels personal. Is he using the royal you and addressing all lackadaisical students?” No, I’m not. I’m talking about you. Specifically you. You know who you are. How dare you not take this seriously? That’s it. I am calling your mother, so she can yell at you! Why are you even reading this right now? Go study!