Quite Frankly

Have a question you want answered? Submit your quandaries at http://bit.ly/2RFnXfk

Hey Frankie,  

I’m currently a sophomore and recently met a really awesome group of friends who are super fun to hang out with and are good people. There is just one problem: They are all graduating in six weeks.

I’m worried that once they graduate they will be so busy with life that they forget I exist, but I don’t want it to feel like I am pestering them when they are trying to get established with life after Vassar.

Any advice?  

Sincerely,

Uneasy Underclassman

Dear Underclassman,

Quite frankly, this situation is going to suck no matter what advice I give you. In this collegiate stage of our young lives, many of our interpersonal relationships seem to function in accordance with the countdown clock to graduation. On top of all the usual difficult partings that come with graduation, you’re probably feeling a sort of regret here. You might feel that you’ve missed out on possible time with your new friends. That’s not a good feeling, and nothing I say can really make it better.

I can, however, provide some hope. While it’s true that graduation is an end, it doesn’t have to be the end. In fact, it’s not the end. It’s easy to think that once your friends graduate and move on to their “real” lives you’ll somehow matter less to them, but that’s almost definitely not true. Of course they’re likely to have less time to chat with you, and they’ll relate less to your complaints about college life. They might have their own newfound complaints about post-grad life, on which you aren’t really equipped to comment either.  

I’m hoping I can ease your mind a bit via analogy. We’ve all graduated from high school before. For many of us, that meant leaving behind a tight-knit group of compatriots. However, I’m willing to bet that you didn’t just dropkick all your underclassmen friends from high school. To use myself as an example: Sure, I don’t text my high school friends every single day, or nearly as often as I did when we inhabited the same ugly brick building for hours at a time. But whenever they reach out to me, I get really excited to catch up, and whenever I see a good, niche meme, I send it their way.

All this is to say, I highly doubt that your senior friends will forget you exist when they depart the hallowed halls of Vassar College. You’ll probably have to work a bit harder to maintain your connection with them, but I doubt they’ll totally ignore you. Your friendships are likely to change following graduation, but evolution is not the same as elimination.

Best Wishes,

Frankie

P.S. There are a number of pretty cool ways to do low-effort long-distance hangouts; for example, you can establish a tradition of watching the same show when you each have time, then texting or calling to chat about it.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.