Seniors allege they will stay close friends

Well, here we are. Commencement. Four years (based on cultural assumptions; much respect for anyone graduating in more years or fewer) and a minimum of 34 credits later, the class of 2019 can march across the graduation stage to receive a piece of paper worth $240,000 and the last of everyone’s self esteem. Graduation is a moment to celebrate, to share with family and friends, and to say goodbye to those you’ve grown to know or at least see a few times a day at the Deece.

Kayla Thurston ’19, graduating with a major in, found herself reflecting on what truly matters during this hectic celebration.

“I’ve been at Vassar for four years. In the long run, that’s not a lot of time, but I have changed so much since I was a first-year,” Thurston paused to wipe tears from her eyes. “But on ‘The Day’ itself, what I’ll really be focusing on is taking as many selfies with as many different people as I can. Making it into as many Snapchat stories as physically possible is the perfect way to honor the blood, sweat and tears I have put into my college education.”

Emmett Hill ’20 shared his deep sadness at seeing the Class of 2019 go: “I finally got the Terrace Apartment I’ve had my eye on, so I’m pretty stoked for next school year. But yeah, it’s gonna be super different without these guys. I will miss them a lot. I probably won’t reach out to many of them, and if they come back to visit and I see them in the Deece I’ll definitely avoid eye contact, but the campus really will never be the same without them.”

Thurston shared her thoughts about moving on from Vassar: “Life isn’t like college, but if I figured things out here I can probably figure them out in the real world, too. I’ll be back with my parents for a few months, maybe a year, and then I’ll move on. But today I’m going to make sure everyone I’ve ever made eye contact with here at Vassar knows how much I love them and value them. Even though I’ll just delete any messages they send me once this is all over without reading any of them.”

Hill commented enthusiastically on the monetary upside to the end of the Class of 2019’s Vassar career: “There’s been a ton of stuff for super cheap on Free and For Sale—I’ve been cleaning up! This week I bought a rug, five new shirts, a tea kettle, some skin products this chick used only once and two fish tanks. It cost 50 bucks total. It was a steal.”

Thurston discussed her feelings about being part of a tightly knit, international alumni network: “If I get one more email from the CDO inviting me to join Handshake, I will destroy all my electronics and go off the grid. I didn’t want them bothering me about Handshake while I was here. I sure as heck do not want them emailing me about it now that I’m gone.”

During the commencement ceremony itself, Thurston was seen diving behind anyone holding a phone at near-photo height, and adding her entire first-year writing seminar class on Snapchat with fervent promises to keep in touch “forever.” After the ceremony, Hill was found buying a pair of dress shoes off of a freshly graduated compsci major who loudly proclaimed the salary from his new job could get him “a thousand pairs of shoes.”

On behalf of the Misc, I would like to congratulate everyone walking across the stage at graduation. We feel proud of this graduating class and promise to support every single one of them, even beyond Vassar, by keeping in close, devoted contact with them. Or at least the CDO will until you join Handshake.

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