I’m very sociable and also single. Flirting is hard tho. How do I show someone I’m interested?
Sincerely, Horny and Afraid
Dear Afraid (no, I’m not using the other name option),
Quite frankly, every relationship I’ve been in has begun as a result of luck rather than skill, so I’m not sure why you’re asking me. It’s also worth noting that the art of flirting isn’t reducible to tricks and tips; you have to get to know someone and find out what makes them happy if you really want to form a bond. I also don’t really think there’s a difference between getting to know someone and flirting; maybe that’s just me. But setting that aside for a moment, I’ll do my level best to give you some helpful pointers (and totally not steps I found on WikiHow).
First, we need a starting point. What kind of flirtatious setting are we talking? If you’re at a party and looking to find a less cringey version of making eye contact across a crowded room and exchanging come-hither glances, that’s one thing. Attempting to build a foundation for a serious relationship has to be a more personal, unique process.
For the former flirtation form, I have a few ideas for you; for the latter, you’re on your own.
Start by, y’know, just going up to someone and speaking with them like a normal human person would. Ask their name, make some small talk (easier said than done, I know). In short, treat the object of your flirtation not as the object of your flirtation, but as a person. From the first five minutes of conversation, you’ll gain a sense of a small kernel of this person’s overall being. If you have no idea about their personality after five minutes, they’re withholding it from you on purpose and you should leave—or they have none, and you should leave.
Assuming this first step goes well, you now have some idea of what kind of topics come to this person’s mind first. If they start talking to you about athletics, student theater or another extracurricular, show your interest in their activities by asking follow-up questions.
If neither of those work, fall back on my favorite go-to strategy: Find out whatever weirdly specific thing the person you’re flirting with is into, then espouse a lot of fun facts. You’re seeing now why I’m not the best person to ask.
Best Wishes, Frankie
P.S., Maybe take my suggestions with a grain of salt; I’m less Casanova and more Canada goose.