And you wonder is it love or war

You close your eyes 
See casket flowers 
Hear the saying in your head 
‘All is fair in love and war’ 
But what is not 
We do not talk about 
We only tighten our laces tighter 
Fill our sacks to the brim 
Weighty with the hopes and dreams 
Of all of those who 
‘Wouldn’t dare’ 
But 
‘Thank you for your service’ 
One more body to soften the blow 
Atlas shifts 
The earth feels heavy 
The weight of all you have had to leave behind 
And from now on 
You continue to 
Try and fit yourself (a square peg) 
Into society (a round hole) 
And from now on 
As often as you return 
Or don’t 
It will always feel like 
Oil trying to mix with water 
And you wonder 
Is it Love or War that keeps you going back. 

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