Quite Frankly

Hey Frankie,

I swiped right on a boy in my class and we matched but then I messaged him and he DIDN’T REPLY and now I have to see him in class every Tuesday and Thursday with both of us knowing he didn’t reply! What do I do?

Swiper no Swiping

Dear Swiper,

Quite frankly, this is pretty damn awkward and I’m sorry that you have to experience this. I do have some thoughts that may be of comfort.

First of all, when a Vassar student opens Tinder, they do so understanding that we go to a small, private, liberal arts college. That comes with an accompanying set of tacit agreements—namely, that by swiping through fellow Vassarians on Tinder, you’re accepting the reality that you’re absolutely going to run into someone you ghosted in the Deece.

Also, not to roast you or anything, but I’m assuming you knew this guy was in your class when you swiped right, so to a certain extent, you took a risk and it didn’t pay off.

But the good news is that technically, he didn’t ghost you. I don’t know if he saw the message (you do, sadly), but there are a lot of reasons he might have failed to respond, either voluntarily or due to neglect.

For example, maybe you swiped on him around break, and he was swiping casually through without realizing that he forgot to change his location settings back. Maybe he just doesn’t get on Tinder all that often, and hasn’t gotten around to checking his messages for awhile. Maybe he changed his mind after swiping because he realized you have a class together and thought messaging you would be weirder than letting this awkward, unresponded message hang in the ether, now tangible in a classroom setting for you.

If you’re still feeling like employing a “high risk, high reward” strategy as concerns your sex life, confront him. At the very least, you’ll make him feel just as uncomfortable as you feel now, so the playing field will be leveled once more. Either he already realizes that he’s done this to you and is uncomfy about it, or he’s oblivious. In either case, you’ve already hit maximum self-discomfort here, so you really have nothing to lose.

Best Wishes,

P.S. Classes will be over soon. Hang in there.

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