‘The Hangover Part III’: At least it ended better than GOT

Not to throw unnecessary shade, but this movie was the third least popular among giraffes that year, behind “Eric Trump Savannah Adventure” and “Don Jr. Gets Himself a Pelt.” Courtesy of pfreedom pixabay.com.

I had not seen any of the “Hangover” movies. This is mostly because I, in my naivety, believed that they were not worth my time. So when I decided to venture into the HCU (Hangover Cinematic Universe), I was wonderfully surprised. “The Hangover Part III” (2013), directed by Todd Phillips, is a piece of cinema that dares to defy normal comedic conventions by refusing to be “funny” or “enjoyable to watch.”

Phillips ventures into the absurd lives of men who have one hand on the wheel of reality or normal responsibilities. The clear plotline also makes it very easy for someone like myself, who has never seen one of these movies, to truly understand that these men are not like normal men: They are dumber.

“The Hangover Part III” is a wild ride from start to finish. It was wild to me for multiple reasons. First, because I was completely confused throughout because I haven’t seen the first two movies. Second, because I streamed this movie on a sketchy website and the advertisements that kept popping up were concerning. And lastly, it was wild because it convinced me that drinking and somehow ending up at the top of Caesar’s Palace is maybe a good idea if you can find a way down.

The audience must wrangle with some really important questions, such as, “Is a giraffe more likely to be decapitated than other animals because of its long neck? Should Bradley Cooper do more comedic acting? Should Ken Jeong go back to being a doctor? Does Todd Phillips only make movies that appeal to straight white men?” And most importantly, “How many racist or mean-spirited jokes can someone fit into a movie that’s only 100 minutes long?” In addition to the movie asking these questions, it also very clearly answers them with: yes, no, yes, yes and a whole lot, respectively. “The Hangover Part III” is multifaceted in the dilemmas it poses, mainly making the audience completely question why they decided to watch this movie in the first place.

Phillips invites his viewers to forget the fact he dated Paris Hilton by making the plot as action-packed as possible. There are drugs, strippers, the aforementioned headless giraffe and, most importantly, male friendship (other than that, I didn’t quite understand the plot, which may have been because I was also playing Candy Crush while watching but who knows). Phillips strays from the idea that men can’t be friends by creating a bond between the men that lasts throughout the entire trilogy…I presume. And while the first two films may have received better reviews and reception at the box office, I haven’t seen them, so this one is taking the cake in my book. I don’t see how Todd Phillips could produce anything better.

I was just informed that Todd Phillips directed “Joker” and, quite frankly, I stand by what I said.

Even though I wasn’t completely sure what was going on throughout “The Hangover Part III,” I knew that what I was watching was iconic in its own right, as it was simultaneously a comedy and action movie that managed to not be funny or exciting. The boundaries that Todd Phillips decides to cross…unparalleled by any director! I would also like to believe that Paris Hilton has a hand in the directing of this film. She and Todd may have only been together in 2011 but she must have somehow used mind control to influence the direction of this film. If anyone knows how to appeal to the taste of straight white men, it’s Paris Hilton!

I will admit I was hesitant to watch this film, but after having watched and appreciated such a marvel I realized everyone should see it. This movie deserves the highest of accolades, so I am giving it a 10.5 out of 11, representing how many times I wanted to contact PETA because of animal cruelty jokes. Todd Phillips was ultimately right: “Woke” culture really is getting in the way of making movies, and “The Hangover Part III” is the perfect example.

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