Horoscopes: February 20

March 21 | April 19

I make fun of Sagittarians further down by saying they aren’t as good as you, so my advice to you is to beware of angry Sagittarians. You’re better than them, though, so you should be good

April 20 | May 20

MERCURY IS IN RETROGRADE. Machinery is not on your side. I’d say take precautions, but Eduroam is gonna go down regardless and there’s nothing we can do about it.

May 21 | June 20

People might speak to you in riddles. What could “I’d like an apology” possibly mean? It’s incredible, the lengths people will go to confuse you. Do nothing; it’ll blow over.

June 21 | July 22

You might be feeling spiritual, but try to keep your wits about you. Is everything actually a sign from the universe, or do you just travel in really niche circles?

July 23 | August 22

Alcohol is never the answer. Unless you’re playing Jeopardy! and the answer (question?) they give you is “What is Alcohol?” Or if somebody asks what to use to disinfect something. Even then, don’t tell them.

August 23 | September 22

Ah, the sign that most fits its stereotype. I’m sick of telling you to stop distracting yourself with work. No more bottling up your feelings. Do SOMETHING ELSE! Go spelunking! You’re exhausting me. .

September 23 | October 22

My roommate worries that my Libra horoscopes are about her, so this time they are. I’m worried about the food in the fridge. If you don’t eat it soon, it’s gonna spoil.

October 23 | November 21

Maybe you can answer this with your good intuition: Who should be my major advisor? Department doesn’t matter; they don’t even have to work here. Would your mom do it? Responses to mdonat@vassar.edu.

November 22 | December 21

When I tell people that I write these, they say I’m “almost as good as the girl who used to do them.” What a mean thing to say! Anyway, you’re almost as good as an Aries.

December 22 | January 19

Stay hydrated! People are getting colds all over, so try to fend off those pesky viruses. Remember the acronym ACAB: All Cool people Always Be carrying a water bottle and drinking from it.

January 20 | February 18

Apparently, Pantone’s color of 2020 is “Classic Blue.” It’s kinda boring. Unlike you. You’re very interesting and super unique. You could still pull off the color, though. It brings out your eyes :-)

February 19 | March 20

Communication is harder than ever right now. If this fact has you in a funk, try exploring some new music. Maybe put those albums from middle school on the back burner? Stream “Fine Line” (2019).

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