Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Club

Photo featuring the Deece’s disappointing selection of cereal on a normal weekday afternoon. Courtesy of Glenna Gomez.

New Pre-Org Alert! Calling all Cereal Lovers! 

Do you have a hoard of cereal in your dorm? Do you eat Lucky Charms religiously each midnight? Do you go absolutely apeshit when the Deece restocks Cocoa Puffs? If you answered yes to any or all of these questions, congratulations—you no longer have to feel underrepresented on campus! We, the founding members of The Breakfast Club, have long been healthily debating how we could improve the lives of Vassarians, and we realized the rabbit hole of breakfast cereal discourse is where we want to plant our flag!

Here are the issues on our agenda for this academic year:

  • Lobby the Deece to buy those new bags of Lucky Charms with only the marshmallows (well before midterms).
  • Talk to President Bradley about honoring Cap’n Crunch in the campus-wide recognition of Veteran’s Day.
  • Meet with the Dining Committee to discuss the cereal inventory for next year; possible topics include, “Oatmeal Squares Are People, Too,” and “Special K: There’s More Than One Flavor (And We Have None).”
  • Upgrading to Alpha-Bits with sans serif fonts.

Don’t worry, we’re not just about campus politics! We also host events year-round for you to connect with fellow cereal enthusiasts! Here is a list of our upcoming events:

  • Open Forum to review the new Lucky Charms marshmallows, including holiday editions (use your imagination with this one).
  • Zoom Luncheon discussing: Which Cheerios are the Best? (haha jk, Honey Nut Cheerios is the obvious answer, this isn’t up for debate).
  • Halloween Costume Party! Dress up as a cereal killer, take home boxes of Count Chocula, Boo Berry and Franken Berry, and sleep the night away! 
  • Alumnae/i Reunion: Trix are for kids—but is there an age limit?
  • Classics Readings in the Quad: “Et tu, Oatmeal?” and other tragedies.

We also have general-body cereal-themed weekly meetings, where we hold open conversations about the cereal on campus and sometimes host guest speakers. We have an exciting line-up of upcoming panelists, including two out of three of the famed Rice Krispies trio, so make sure to tune in! Our first meeting is Oct. 23: Froot Loops Friday! Check out our table in front of the Deece to learn more, or just to restock your dwindling stack of breakfast treats. Sponsor coupons are available while they last!

Some final notes:

A friendly reminder that the Anti-Raisin Bran Coalition meets every Tuesday at 3 p.m. in Noyes Circle. Email [email protected] to be added to their mailing list.

The Vassar Incognito Cereal Network (VICCEN) notifies interested parties when your favorite cereal might be restocked! Email [email protected] to be added to the GroupMe.

Finally, thank you to everyone who participated in the live debate, “Which Came First: Milk or Cereal.” If you missed it, the recording can be found here. Our next debate on Nov. 6 will be a little more provocative: “Granola Thinks It’s Better Than You.” RSVP ASAP!

Cheerio!

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