Horoscopes: April 8

ARIES
March 21 | April 19
Here’s your excuse to BE DARING. Maybe get a tattoo or something? Send a long sext in public complete with many descriptive emojis and wait for someone to look over your shoulder to see what’s up. I am not very daring. Write in and tell me how to be more daring!

TAURUS
April 20 | May 20

If you could be any animal, which would it be? If you can’t be that animal, pick a different one. Keep doing this until you have five animals. Now Google each of the five and find the cutest picture. Save them, make a collage, and make that your screensaver. You’re welcome.

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GEMINI
May 21 | June 20

I am ADDICTED to Sudoku. I think I need an intervention. Puzzle games are fun but this is your warning to quit while you’re ahead. As soon as the mobile ads start bothering you DELETE IT. Otherwise you’ll end up where I am––really good at Sudoku. But at what cost?

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CANCER
June 21 | July 22

Anyone else feeling particularly ~fragile~ lately? Like you’re a human but also a balloon and anyone who says anything to you ever is actually holding a very sharp needle very close in your direction. If so I hope you get well soon. If not, teach me your ways.

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LEO
July 23 | August 22

Watching old movies IS therapy! Here are some ideas to get you started: “High School Musical.” “High School Musical 2.” “The Cheetah Girls.” “Spy Kids.” “Sharkboy and Lavagirl.” “Ratatouille.” And et cetera. [Please also do actual therapy if you need. Therapy is very good.]

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VIRGO
August 23 | September 22

Change is good! Sometimes. Changing little things is always a neat and fun way to spice up your life. Like maybe, instead of not studying, you could try actually studying. I don’t know though, maybe that’s a little too wild. I’m certainly not at that level of novelty yet. 

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LIBRA
September 23 | October 22

I think we undervalue the simple act of being very very goofy. Let’s all be jesters for a little bit! Make a notebook for creative but unfunny puns. Buy some silks to tie together and pull out of your sleeves. Pile into a car with your pod (to get VACCINATED! But also to be clowns.)

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SCORPIO
October 23 | November 21

Cooking for others is honestly the highest possible form of love. You don’t even need to be a good cook to make some killer stew for your friends! Oil + spices + vegetables + broth + rice = being able to shake hands with God.

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SAGITTARIUS
November 22 | December 21

Learning is so awesome. You should learn a new language! It’s fun and builds synapses in your brain or whatever, even if you don’t use it everyday. Create your own Tower of Babel in your head when you remember the word you need in every language you don’t need it in. 

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CAPRICORN
December 22 | January 19

Walking is so freeing! Literally just go on a really long walk and explore buildings you’ve never been in. I’m always surprised at how many places on this campus I’ve just never bothered to visit. Email me a picture of your most unexpected find: mdonat@vassar.edu

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AQUARIUS
January 20 | February 18

Write a poem! I know, ew. But it can be really neat if you put your mind to it! Remember, poems don’t have to rhyme and they don’t even need to have line breaks! As long as you’re putting words to the emotions that make you feel like you got punched in the gut you’re good.

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PISCES
February 19 | March 20

Get up really early one day this week just for fun. You might be mad at yourself the rest of the day, but that’s what naps are for. I see so few sunrises but the ones I have are staggeringly beautiful. Take pictures and send them to me: mdonat@vassar.edu. My inbox is DRY.

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