Horoscopes: April 22

ARIES
March 21 | April 19
I joke that I’m an astral projector but honestly I’ve never tried. Do you think if we both astral projected at the same time we could hang out on the astral plane? That’d be cool. In my mind it looks like a Vaporwave dancefloor. That makes sense, right? I’ll take pictures when I go.

TAURUS
April 20 | May 20

Catch up with an old friend this week, or maybe a place on campus that you used to go to all the time but don’t anymore. Lovingly run your fingers across its walls in a tender caress and whisper how much you miss it … ok actually never mind that’s getting creepy. Do the first thing.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is image-4.png

GEMINI
May 21 | June 20

I’ve been finding ladybugs in my bathroom recently. They’re supposed to be good luck, but a lot of times they’re dead, so that may be bad luck instead. Regardless, I think they’re neat. This week you should look at bugs. Even if you don’t like them, look from afar and give a wave.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is image-5.png

CANCER
June 21 | July 22

We might be able to see the bottom of each other’s faces soon! This is a reminder that lip balm is very important, but what’s more important against dry lips and/or that pesky maskcne is to STAY HYDRATED! Drink a ridiculous amount of water. It’s not a cure-all, but it’s a cure-some!

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is image-6.png

LEO
July 23 | August 22

We as a society underestimate the importance of small insignificant objects that do nothing but sit there and look cute. If you see a cool rock, you should pick it up and put it on your nightstand. If you see a funny pamphlet, put it on your wall! Life is full of little joys!

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is image-7.png

VIRGO
August 23 | September 22

What’s your favorite small thing that immediately makes your day better? Be it seeing your friend’s dog, drinking chocolate milk or laying in the grass, find time to do it this week! Do it every day if you can! Enough small happies added together = big happy. Or something.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is image-8.png

LIBRA
September 23 | October 22

Sometimes we forget how much human contact we’ve been missing these past months. Hopefully there is someone here that you can safely hug (or high five, or fist bump, or elbow tap, or just have a deep convo with). If there is, do it!! Loving other people is so cool :)

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is image-9.png

SCORPIO
October 23 | November 21

There are times when you just feel the need to assault your senses—but there are tons of ways to do it in a safe, fun way! Eat some super spicy ramen or drink some ice-cold water. Lie in the sun, or laugh until it hurts, or blast music so loud that your neighbors complain.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is image-10.png

SAGITTARIUS
November 22 | December 21

Lofty goals are great but you know what’s better? Borderline impossible goals. I want to sit in every chair on campus. Will it happen? Probably not. But every time I sit in a new chair I tick off a little box in my head. The rush is so good, it’s like free drugs.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is image-11.png

CAPRICORN
December 22 | January 19

Misplaced anger is rough. Instead of doing all of the boring, healthy things when you need to get your rage out, instead try the new, cool thing that all the teens do: smash plates! (No other kitchenware.) Ok, you caught me; I just made that up. But what are you if not a trendsetter?

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is image-12.png

AQUARIUS
January 20 | February 18

“I’ll open that text and then respond later.” NO YOU WON’T. STOP LYING. YOU’LL FORGET ABOUT IT AND THEN FEEL BAD. Either respond or block their number!!! I mostly think text etiquette is dumb but as someone who accidentally does this all the time, just trust me.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is image-13.png

PISCES
February 19 | March 20

Fun fact: I do some of my best work when I’m very close to falling asleep; no idea why. Maybe my overthinking editing brain turns off then. Try doing some (unimportant, ungraded) work right before you conk out and see how it goes! It’ll be a learning experience either way.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.