If you’re an “about town” and “hip with the kids” kind of Vassar student, you may have heard the trendy gamer song “Chug Jug With You,” a wonderful Fortnite take on Estelle’s American Boy ft. Kanye West. However, if you are a self-respecting kind of Vassar student, you may be disinclined to admit to your peers that you have even heard of Fortnite. I myself struggled with this in a past life. When mentioning this dilemma to my housemate, he decided to play devil’s advocate and claimed that the Fortnite isn’t all that bad, as you can at least “be a goldfish operating a mecha suit”. Fortunately, I don’t give a shit.
My saving grace from the ever-approaching throes of Fortnite was a simple early access Steam game, Super Animal Royale. It’s a third person shooter, sometimes team based, and very similar to Fortnite (at least I will assume, as all of my knowledge of the game comes from the catchy TikTok tunes.) The catch–instead of playing as an ugly cringey person, you can be a variety of very cute cartoon animals, from various breeds of dog (husky, shiba inu, weimaraner) all the way to mysterious fictional creatures (Super Swamp Skullcat, anyone?) Some of my personal favorite animals include the Super Fried Chicken and the Super Radioactive Rat, which the gamer can unlock at level 20.
An excellent perk of this game is that it manages to be immensely satisfying to play while also being objectively terrible. It took me perhaps a solid week to learn how to actually aim a gun, and I just learned how to properly operate a hamster ball last night. I can’t really put a finger on it, but something about the immense cuteness and comedy of watching a bunch of sassy cuddly animals beat the shit out of each other with semi automatic weapons brings me a lot of joy.
This game is immensely enjoyable as free to play–some milestone achievements can only be unlocked by buying the upgraded version, but there are more than enough free perks that have kept me entertained for the past month or two. Perhaps I am biased, since my favorite part of any game is character creation and collecting clothing. Either way, I am very content with my ever-growing collection of animals and outfits. The shop has been full of summer items this week, so my Super Black Cat has been roaming the jungle armed to the teeth with a bikini, sun hat and blue pool noodle (a surprisingly effective weapon!)
I am now content in my gaming journey, as I am able to act out the different lines of the Fortnite song without ever having to approach that game. I can “chug jug” with my animal pals, and when my friend gets “downed,” I can “revive him and head southbound.” We haven’t managed a ton of wins, but have fully embraced our status as the “Number Two Victory Royale” champions. I highly recommend this game for anyone who is cool and likes to have fun. I hope to run into you in the Super Penguin Palace soon!