“wake up babe new vassar confessions just dropped.”
On March 21, 2021, dozens of Vassar students’ Instagram stories displayed this message as their owners clamored to read the mountain of new confessions posted to the infamous account.
It’s somewhere to reveal all of your secrets. A place for thoughts too personal to even write in your journal at risk of your roommate accidentally catching a glimpse. This is, of course, @vassar.confessions, an Instagram page that displays 1,862 posts containing anonymous confessions from current students, prospective students and random Internet onlookers.
With 928 followers and a beaming photo of President Bradley as the profile picture, this page holds immense power over the student body. Some of the confessions posted have sparked intense student-on-student debates in the comments section. Other confessions recount memories or concoct mysterious stories about campus wildlife. Many are, indeed, sexual in nature. The link in the bio invites people to submit whatever their heart desires to a Google Form. But the person behind this account remains a mystery.
Some of the confessions include:
“Is it bad to date someone from marist”
“I think I know who u are”
“I really love watching the barefoot fireflies out my window”
“If you have a pet on campus and you bring it outside: you’re the only thing keeping my mental health together”
According to Mr. Confessions, as the account owner wishes to be called, only one other person knows their identity. Through an interview via Instagram, the Misc asked Mr. Confessions about how taxing running this account can be. “Being anonymous helps me to disconnect from the page somewhat. It can be stressful, and it’s pretty exhausting to post all of the confessions sometimes,” Mr. Confessions said. However, they did admit that it can be funny when they recognize people in real life who may have DMed them, as a sort of one-sided relationship.
The confessions posted to the account range widely. In the first few batches of posts, Mr. Confessions took the time to reformat each confession with a colorful, calming background often in stark contrast to the words. The very first post was on February 1, 2021, and read “I stole forks from the deece my freshman year.” This sparked the match for students craving an opportunity to let go of the secrets weighing down on their shoulders. One of the account’s most popular posts was from March 16, boasting 126 likes and six comments praising the confession: “As it’s 2:30am and I struggle with a paper, I know that the sausage-egg-and-cheese from retreat in like 7 hours will make my heart full again.”
Mr. Confessions was clear that this account was created solely for entertainment purposes. “Mostly everything gets posted unless it’s just boring or inappropriate. I usually filter through all the submissions before I post. I filter out things that are uninteresting, boring or hateful. I don’t post name drops unless they are positive.”
Having to read through each confession before posting it, as well as formatting each one correctly, takes a lot of work, according to Mr. Confessions. Recently, post drops have been much less frequent, and currently, the last post is from two full weeks ago. They remarked, “I’ve started posting a lot less frequently because it takes time and effort to put together a drop. It can take almost an hour to post a set of confessions, and I get lazier and lazier as the semester drags on.”
Much of the fallout of these confessions occured in the comments section, where students discussed and responded to the various claims. Most memorable were arguments about athletes receiving special attention from the college, communism in general and prospective students expressing their newfound fears of the student body. This did not spur Mr. Confessions to shut down the comment sections, though. They said, “I’m all for commenting on the posts. I feel like a lot of the heated controversies arise when someone submits something that they would normally be cancelled for if it wasn’t anonymous … I think that this divide has led to the somewhat toxic discourse that we see. But I do find it interesting to see such diverse points of view even if they aren’t well received.”
The Vassar Confessions Instagram account has certainly been impressive in its fast rise in popularity and its outsized contribution to campus entertainment and conversation. Besides uncovering the owner’s identity, which will most likely never happen, only one question remains. Does this have anything to do with the mysterious Rose Tote Society? Mr. Confessions answered that in one fell swoop: “That is top secret information.”
OMG sausage-egg-and-cheese comment was mine let’s goooooooo