Horoscopes: May 20

ARIES March 21 | April 19

Be PRESENT in these last few days on campus. Even when it sucks and the bees come back and drown in your syrup. You are still alive and breathing! What would Mary Oliver say about the bees, huh? Probably something profound, IDK. I’m not her but maybe you could be.

TAURUS April 20 | May 20

You can DO THIS! We only have a few days left before everything winds down. If it feels like everything is crashing down around you, same lol. But also know that other people feel that way too, and unity through unfortunate circumstances is actually a pretty good bonding activity.

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GEMINI May 21 | June 20

Everybody is a different person! Isn’t that crazy? If I think about it too hard I really freak out. We’re all just hanging out here, you know? And we all have the same anxieties and the same weird cravings for a singular sip of Diet Coke every three months. Oh, that one’s just me? Okay.

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CANCER June 21 | July 22

Sometimes you just have to sit down and write down all the stuff you actually have to do, not the stuff you do so you can scratch things off your to-do list. There are some papers that I have due that I’m just pretending do not exist right now. Do not be me. Get your stuff in order!

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LEO July 23 | August 22

Perhaps it’s just me but isn’t it wild that there are so many types of art and genres of music and pretty scenery that we just haven’t seen yet? everynoise.com is a website that just lists a bunch of super specific genres of music. This week, try Thall (Swedish metal). You’re welcome.

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VIRGO August 23 | September 22

Rest and relaxation are of course important, but so is getting out all that pent-up stressful energy. Hold a silent disco this week, or a not-so-silent disco if you don’t care about slash don’t like your neighbors. Blast the tunes and stomp your feet. For extra fun, do it in a classroom building.

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LIBRA September 23 | October 22

I am so confused about the blue Takis. I saw them at My Market and just stared at them for a little bit because hello? Like, apparently they don’t taste at all different from the purple flavor. So they don’t even taste like blue! If you make a blue food, it should taste blue.

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SCORPIO October 23 | November 21

Notice all the beautiful things around you, be they in nature or otherwise. Someone eye-smiling at you through their mask is beautiful! Having a polite run-in with someone you always wanted to get to know better is beautiful! Returning library books on time? You guessed it: beautiful!

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SAGITTARIUS November 22 | December 21

Galaxy print was cringey, sure, but it was also kinda cute. This week, bring back old trends with reckless abandon. Get some of those fake hipster glasses with the plastic mustache dangling from the eyes, blast “Shake It” by Metro Station, and regress as far into 2014 as you’ll let yourself go.

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CAPRICORN December 22 | January 19

Sometimes I reread old notes from classes I loved taking, which I know is really embarrassing but sometimes I just like to reminisce, you know? Some people use Snapchat memories; I use my indecipherable Art 106 notes. If you’re getting rid of old papers, remember to recycle!

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AQUARIUS January 20 | February 18

Endeavor to put your brain to work in new and interesting ways this week, to distract you from all the other stuff you have to do. Puzzles are neat, as well as word games! Maybe I’ve even snuck a puzzle in here! Whatever you do, don’t look at the first letter of every horoscope…

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PISCES February 19 | March 20

My favorite animals on campus are the frogs, because they are just so little and fun to look at. Honorable mention of course to the bunnies, the birds, and all the dogs. This week, make friends with all the animals you see, even the bugs! Say hi and ask how they are. It’s important.

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