Horoscopes

ARIES March 21 | April 19

Aries

Recovering from a weekend of partying takes time, so sleep well and often. But sometimes, you sleep too much and then need to recover from that, too. Life is unfair like that, but let this spark curiosity instead of resignation. Do (small, ethical) experiments on yourself to see how things make you feel! 

TAURUS April 20 | May 20

Taurus

Wearing lots of silly jewelry is something that can actually be so personal. I think we need to bring back chunky costume jewels, like those plastic beads they hand out on Mardi Gras or the giant rings and necklaces that you get from Party City. I just think that being gaudy is neat and fun. It’s not just for Halloween!

GEMINI May 21 | June 20

Gemini

Sometimes I feel like I’m a bad student or a bad employee, and then I remember that I’m probably doing OK, all things considered. Everyone thinks they’re worse than they are. But if you are worried about your motivation, try and make work fun for you! Do work on the floor, or whatever. Whatever is good for you.

CANCER June 21| July 22

Cancer

If you’re anxious about something this week, don’t be. Just kidding—I know it’s not that easy. But sometimes it is nice to remind yourself that things might not always be as terrifying as they seem. Write down all of the things you’re most scared of on a piece of paper and then look them in the eyes. Or don’t. I’m not a therapist.

LEO July 23 | August 22

Leo

This is a week for discovery. Perhaps you will find buried treasure somewhere around campus, or maybe your discoveries will be sadder, like about how you interact with other people or realizing you definitely aren’t eating enough vegetables. But any discovery is a good one, right? Maybe this week you’ll discover the answer to that.

VIRGO
August 23 | September 22

Virgo

Sometimes I get too obsessed with my work, and I worry that I’m becoming allergic to fun. This week, reintroduce some whimsy into your life. Go on an adventure and look at small amphibious creatures, or collect rocks and paint faces on them. Maybe mix up a fun concoction in your kitchen like you’re reliving your childhood potion-making days.

LIBRA September 23 | October 22

Libra

I’ve been engaging a little too much in internet drama lately, which is a bit of an L on my part. But a guilty pleasure is still a pleasure. It can be fun to be a hater or at the very least just a little bit nosy, especially if it’s about people you don’t know and will never meet. Everything in moderation, though.

SCORPIO October 23 | November 21

Scorpio

Halloween is great, but taking down all your decorations can be sad. Just remember, though, that Halloween doesn’t have to end on Nov. 1! Just keep those decorations up for as long as they bring you joy… or at least until your roommates begin to complain to you about it. Even then, though, there’s leeway.

SAGITTARIUS November 22 | December 21

Sagittarius

New hobbies are the best. It makes me feel like a god whenever I learn something new. This week, cultivate interesting, niche hobbies. I, for one, have been trying to get better at “The Sims” (which is now FREE ON STEAM BY THE WAY). I’m such a gamer girl. Be a gamer girl (gender neutral) this week.

CAPRICORN
December 22 | January 19

Capricorn

Living in an apartment has really reminded me of the brevity of life, particularly the brevity of the life of fruits. This week, cherish the produce in your life, and remind yourself how lucky you are to have known them in this ever-fleeting crossing of your paths. Thank the Universe, and then get that Vitamin C.

AQUARIUS January 20 | February 18

Aquarius

I’m currently rekindling my past romance with JSTOR. It is very exciting to revisit an old flame, especially when said old flame has thousands of articles on every arts/humanities topic you could ever hope for. Sometimes it’s nice to invite people back into your life, provided that you know they will make your life better. 

PISCES February 19 | March 20

Pisces 

Trying and failing is definitely worse than trying and succeeding, but it’s better than not trying at all! That’s what the wise green alien from the Star War said, right? (I do not want to get sued by the Big Mouse.) Put yourself out there this week, and remember that even if you fail, you learned something. Fail you must.

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