Did you know that the average person spends a year and a half of their lives in the bathroom, according to Immerse? Although that may not seem like a lot compared to the average human lifespan, I still think it’s important that every bathroom experienceTM is a good one. Unfortunately, some bathrooms make this quite difficult, as I’ve learned after living in Raymond for the past few months. Here are some things to know before you have the Raymond First Floor Bathroom Experience:
- The door can’t open all the way due to the stalls blocking it. It gives me flashbacks to my tiny Jewett suite bedroom when my door would collide with the leg of my bed whenever I opened it.
- That reminds me—the stalls themselves are so small that I’m convinced airlines are using them as models for their plane seats in order to squeeze as many passengers on their planes as possible. At least I don’t have to worry about anyone reclining their seat on me here, I guess…
- The arrays of spiders and cobwebs. I appreciate the Halloween decorations, but it’s December…time to take them down now…come on…
- We have a bathtub! I recoil at the thought that at some point in Vassar’s history, someone may have sat in it. Fun fact—the shower stall with the bathtub is the only one I use because the other stalls are dark due to the bathroom’s poor lighting and give me the heebie-jeebies. I often fear that a demon might actually appear while I’m washing my hair.
- One of these other shower stalls contains two completely separate shower units in the same stall. It’s perfect if you want to shower with your partner but leave room for the Holy Spirit.
- The loud and incessant fan!! It’s the only fan in the bathroom and, to my knowledge, the only fan of the bathroom!
Well, there you have it, folks. All of the lovely things that make the Raymond First Floor Bathroom ExperienceTM one-of-a-kind. I hope this article inspires you to take your bathroom at home for granted less often…and to think twice before submitting an application to change houses during room draw season!