I’m so back: My thoughts on the winners of the Oscars

“Congratulations 96th Oscars nominees and winners!” Something I say all of the time, and it was not the first thing that showed up when I clicked on “oscars.com.” Please don’t check that. Though I didn’t watch the Oscars this year (or any other year; I’ve never been able to sit through award shows), I watched several movies over Spring Break. Two of my friends, Sophia and Katie, came to visit me in the great state of Florida. It’s possible that they just came to visit the world-famous Gatorland, but I’m choosing to believe that they came to see me for my sparkling personality and decent pancake-making skills. 

While they were at my house, we watched several five-star, flawless movies including “Divergent” and “Insurgent” (and I will never watch either ever again), “Bottoms” (again), “Red, White & Royal Blue” (my third time watching it) and finally, after many months of considering it, “The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes.” I hope you are so proud of me for finally watching it, even though it took two sittings. Anyway, all of this is to say that I am double extra qualified to talk about the winners of the Oscars in comparison to my previous predictions. Get excited everyone!

Best Actor

I technically predicted Cillian Murphy and, as per usual, I was correct. I will say that this is well-deserved. He was very good in “Oppenheimer.” I am also a casual fan of Cillian Murphy; I really like how he looks mildly bored or afraid all of the time. As someone who suffers from a bad case of RBF, I feel very seen and heard by him. Thank you, Cillian, for representing unapproachable people everywhere. 

Best Actress

In my last piece, I made a grave error regarding Emma Stone’s role in the Spider-Man movies. I was just informed by my girlfriend, an avid Spider-Man fan, that Emma Stone did not, in fact, play MJ in “The Amazing Spider-Man,” but she instead played Gwen Stacy. I am extremely embarrassed. However, I was also extremely correct in predicting that Emma Stone would win. So I would call this situation a solid medium-embarrassing event. Though I haven’t seen “Poor Things” and I absolutely hated “Frankenstein” by Mary Shelley when I read it in sophomore year of high school, I have no doubt that Emma Stone’s performance was phenomenal and well-deserving of the Oscar. 

Best Supporting Actor

I was very wrong about the winner of Best Supporting Actor. So what? Sue me! Please don’t, I would be sad. Anyway, I’m not surprised about Robert Downey Jr. winning for “Oppenheimer,” because of course there was an “Oppenheimer” sweep. That being said, I was (once again) informed by my girlfriend that it was RDJ’s first Oscar, which is so exciting for him and a long time coming. 

Best Supporting Actress

I was sort of correct about the winner of Best Supporting Actress! Though I was rooting for America Ferrera (because Barbie is one of two Oscar-nominated films I have seen), I am very excited that Da’Vine Joy Randolph won! From what I’ve heard, and as substantiated by her Oscar, her performance slayed. My roommate would like me to give her a special shoutout for firmly predicting this win and many other categories, but we will share this win as a roommate unit. That’s enough to make me consider watching “The Holdovers,” which means I’ll finally end up watching it in five to seven business months. 

Best Picture

Okay, so “Barbie” didn’t win. It’s fine. We all knew that “Oppenheimer” would win, it wasn’t surprising. However, I was once again, kind of correct! I predicted a “La La Land” repeat event at the Oscars, and I was right. I’ve seen many TikTok edits of the “La La Land” ending where Ryan Gosling’s character sings to Emma Stone’s character, who happens to be a very decorated actress. And guys, you’ll never guess what happened at the Oscars. Ryan Gosling sang to Emma Stone, an award-winning actress. Crazy stuff! 

Best Director

Once again, I was not surprised by Christopher Nolan winning Best Director. Is it deserved? Sure. “Oppenheimer” was a very good movie. Loud, but good. However, I also think that Greta Gerwig was snubbed for Best Director. According to Variety, and checked with Wikipedia, only seven women have been nominated for Best Director in the history of the Oscars, and only three have won. I could talk about how this says a lot about the film industry, but I’ll save you from that undoubtedly long rant. 

I hope you all enjoyed my very professional and qualified review of my own Oscar predictions. I don’t want my movie knowledge to be tested publicly, as I scare easily, so if you would like to share your opinions about this, please reach out to me via my two favorite forms of contact: snail mail (from a real snail) or a Harry-Potter-esque owl delivery at breakfast. 

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