“Get it? Because it’s the Main Building!” The eureka moment struck William Obvious on a fateful day in late 1859, and since then, Vassar has never been the same. Today, the College is honoring his devotion to the centerpiece of what gives Vassar its identity, granting him a posthumous medal for his tireless dedication to the English language and the Vassar community.
At the ceremony at The Chapel, President Elizabeth Bradley thanked Obvious for his service to the College. “He had such a knack for things,” Bradley stated. “It’s incredible how he came up with the innovative name for our chapel: ‘The Chapel.’ I could not bear living in the president’s house had Mr. Obvious not named it ‘The President’s House,’” she said.
Mr. Obvious served in the military and was eventually promoted to a high rank; today, people refer to him as Captain Obvious. As captain, Obvious pioneered several advancements fundamental to the history of our country. After naming the White House (in the same manner as he named Main, of course), Obvious solved a problem that was haunting music ensembles across the globe: What they should name their frequently-used triangular instrument. “I could never comprehend how he did his magic,” Ryan Duhum Foundhid, a former coworker of Obvious’, wrote. “He had the intellectual capacity to understand that our triangle was a triangle.”
Critics of Obvious’ name choice are furious about this ceremony, but despite their consternation, have not been able to come up with a better name for Main Building in more than 160 years. Scholars have attributed this to Captain Obvious’ deft mind, unmatchable brainpower, wide range of knowledge and the fact that no one else has really tried yet.
Obvious’ niece, Blatant Lee Obvious ’66, said she was proud to follow in the footsteps of her ancestor. “I served on the committee to name the new structure at the College’s center,” she stated. “You’ll never guess what it’s called.”