Thanksgiving is a time for families to come together, no matter their quirks or flaws, and enjoy a harvest feast. My family is no exception—but we’re a wacky bunch! Any time we gather, you can be sure that laughs, hijinks and all-around rib-tickling good fun are right around the corner. So without further ado, here’s a play-by-play account of me and my family’s wacky, zany, topsy-turvy Thanksgiving!
8:15 a.m: My phone alarm went off (it’s set to Pachelbel’s “Canon in D”). However, I did not arise until eight minutes had passed, which is to say at 8:23.
8:42 a.m.: After brushing my teeth and donning my clothes for the day, I enjoyed a Thanksgiving breakfast of scrambled eggs and rye toast, which I accompanied with a mug of hot black coffee. My sister and I discussed current events and shared our thoughts on several recently released films. Breakfast lasted until approximately 9:01.
9:37 a.m.: Once the oven had properly preheated, my grandmother put the turkey in to roast. A good deal of the cooking had been done in the days prior—my family believes in the value of preparation—but there were still several side dishes to make before the Thanksgiving meal. I helped prepare a simple cranberry-based sauce and then spent a shade over two hours doing some assigned class readings.
12:00 p.m.: Ordinarily, this would be when I would eat lunch; however, as the Thanksgiving meal was scheduled for 2:30 p.m., I did not. I did find myself growing peckish, though, so I ate several crackers topped with a chickpea-based hummus spread. I then returned to my readings until it was time to eat.
2:00 p.m.: My mother, my sisters and I set the table in preparation for the meal, laying out forks, knives, napkins, glasses and, of course, plates. Once the food was ready, we carried it to the table and sat down together to eat. There was some consternation as we tried to fit all the side dishes on the table, but we were eventually able to do so.
2:32 p.m.: Two minutes behind schedule, the meal began. Everyone thoroughly enjoyed it. They say the best accompaniment for good food is good conversation, and in this case, I can certainly attest that that principle held true. We discussed a number of topics, including our favorite Thanksgiving foods (I am partial to stuffing), the weather (it was cold) and the water heater (it had recently been replaced). We were all very full after the meal, so, after cleaning up, we rested for a while before returning to the table for dessert.
5:18 p.m.:For dessert, we had pie. There was an apple pie, a cranberry tart (which is not, strictly speaking, a pie), and a pear-pomegranate pie. The lack of Thanksgiving classics like pumpkin and pecan may surprise some readers, but what can I say—we’re crazy that way! Everyone had a slice of each, and they were all delicious.
6:33 p.m.: After dessert and another round of cleanup, we gathered to play the popular party game “Apples to Apples.” My father won. Overall, it was an enjoyable experience, but I was mildly perturbed when my card, “Angry Hornets,” was not selected as the best answer for the prompt “Emotional.” This struck me as somewhat unfair because the hornets are explicitly defined as experiencing anger, which is, of course, an emotion.
8:08 p.m.: Several members of my family went to bed after “Apples to Apples,” but those of us still standing decided to watch some TV. We watched two episodes of the science fiction series “The X-Files” (we have been slowly making our way through Season One) before even the strongest among us began to tire. At this point all agreed that there was nothing to be done but fall asleep, so we said our goodnights and split off to do so.
9:55 p.m.: I brushed my teeth, put on pajamas and got into bed. Once there, I looked at my phone for a few minutes before putting it away and closing my eyes to sleep at approximately 10:03 p.m.
Well, folks, that’s it—the story of my Thanksgiving. I bet you’ve never heard of one quite like it! That’s just how things are with my family. We’re always doing things the wacky way!