The Miscellany News

Vassar recently hired Dawn Ilardi as the new Head Chef of The Retreat after her predecessor, Brad Goulden, retired after over 20 years of service at Vassar College. Ilardi is the first woman to hold the title of head chef at Vassar since 1864, and the first ever woman to be head chef at The Retreat. I recently had the opportunity to sit down with Ilardi to discuss her path to becoming the head chef, what it is like to cook professionally as a woman and a mother and where to get the best chimichangas in Poughkeepsie—read to the end for her recommendation. Ilardi taking over the position represents a new era for The Retreat and one that she is very excited to share with all of us on campus. 

Ilardi grew up surrounded by food and cooking. “It’s in my blood. My dad’s like an old school butcher, my family had an Italian specialty catering store for about 40 years,” she told me. Despite a childhood full of food memories and people cooking all around her, Ilardi did not fall in love with the idea of professional cooking right away. After high school, she attended Hartwick College in Oneonta, NY. She received a bachelor’s degree in sociology during the 2008 economic recession, hoping to get a master’s in social work next and work with at-risk youth. It did not work out quite like that. Ilardi told me, “I woke up after unpacking from college and had no idea where I was going, didn’t know what I was gonna do, I was very discouraged. My uncle actually gave me a call and said, ‘Do you wanna learn the family business?’ He said, ‘Come to work tomorrow morning, we’ll start you in the deli.’” 

This was Ilardi’s first step towards a lifelong career in the culinary world. She explained to me how critical her family was in inspiring the perseverance she needed to succeed as a woman in such a cutthroat industry. “I learned my work ethic strictly from my family. I had six uncles, I really learned the grit of it all,” she explained, remembering her time as a young woman getting a crash course in working with food. Her memories extended well beyond the job too. “I would always be at my grandma’s house, she would teach me how to cook chicken cutlets, chicken parm, [we’re] a big Italian family, holidays were always a big deal, so I always made sure to be with her, next to her.” With a huge smile on her face, Ilardi told me how cooking is still in her family’s blood. Her husband, Giovanni, owns the Italian restaurant Spettro in Poughkeepsie–just a five minute walk from campus–, and she likened running The Retreat to running a restaurant. With every special memory that Ilardi shared with me, I could see clearly how much she cares about cooking and how, for her, it is so much more than just work. She described falling in love with the way food can create memories, conversation and connection with so much passion I could feel it radiating off her. 

After her period of uncertainty post-grad, Ilardi made the move to Poughkeepsie to attend the Culinary Institute of America (CIA) in 2010. Here, she worked at Shadows on the Hudson to put herself through school. Shadows is also where she met her husband 13 years ago. After she graduated, the pair began to establish a life for themselves in Poughkeepsie. He told her “You went to school to cook, you need to find a job in a kitchen.” That is exactly what she did. She  started as a line cook, then a bartender, always finding people who needed help by word of mouth. After six months of travelling around the Hudson Valley working wherever she could,  Ilardi became the sous chef at Schatzi’s Pub and Bier Garden in New Paltz. She and her husband eventually married, and later had a son. At this point she had to reckon with the reality of loving an industry that generally affords poor work-life balance and the reality of caring for a newborn baby. “I had my son, and I was like I don’t think I can go back to the restaurant,” she told me. “I wanted to be a mom but I also knew I was gonna miss doing things with food like cooking and being around new people.” 

Luckily, the stars aligned and five years ago, when her son was six months old, Ilardi was hired as an associate chef at Vassar College. A year ago, she took a test to be certified as a head chef so she could fill in when needed. Then, when Brad Goulden retired, she took another test, applied for the job and officially became The Retreat’s first woman to hold the title of head chef. Her eyes began to mist while describing the fulfillment working at The Retreat gives her, and it would have been obvious to anyone that nobody could be better for the job. 

Ilardi has had to work hard to get where she is as a woman in a male-dominated field, a virtue learned from her family that she hopes to pass on to her own children. She told me how her son, now five, always expresses how proud he is of her and how much he loves seeing her in her new head chef jacket. “I tell him, ‘never stop fighting for what you really want, no matter how much people discourage you.’ Especially since this is a man-driven industry, now you’re seeing a lot of women putting their stamp on it. It’s not a man’s world anymore. I’m just very happy.” She explained to me how being a woman in the kitchen is not about competition, but an effort to prove yourself in a way that I cannot imagine men are thinking about. “There’s never a time where I stop, it’s like, I can do that too. I can lift that, I can cook that, I can do the same thing as you.” She shared with me stories of other women she has known in her life, whether her grandmother, other female chefs at Vassar or celebrity chefs like Giada De Laurentiis who have given her the inspiration to keep pushing in an industry that was not designed for women, relegating them to domestic labor while insisting they lack the fortitude to make it in as intense of a workplace as a professional kitchen. 

“When I went to [The Culinary Institute of America] I had all these male chefs [teaching me]. I didn’t want them to think, ‘oh she’s a girl, if she cuts her finger is she gonna cry?’ I didn’t want that. You saw a lot of people started dropping out after extern.” Extern, or externship, is a required class at the CIA where students work full-time for several months in a professional culinary establishment. It is known for being one of the most rigorous aspects of culinary training. Ilardi went on “You have to keep pushing yourself. When I was at [The Culinary Institute of America] there were prerequisites. Now people just can go and they think it’s like the Food Network and it’s not. It’s more than that, at least for me. I always like when food makes conversation.” A throughline in our conversation was her passionate belief that food is a powerful means of connection, an idea I still remember when I sit down now for a meal with my friends. 

“I like to be here first, I like to set an example, just so they know that we’re all in this together.” That sentiment encompassed all of what Ilardi shared with me about what it is like for her to run The Retreat. She explained how she likes to come in early and complete even the seemingly smallest tasks, like getting water boiling or preparing sanitation equipment for her team.  Her collaborative leadership style seemed to me like exactly what someone would need to get through the hectic mornings she described as everyone rushes to get ready for students to show up for lunch. For Ilardi, being the head chef is not about being above everyone else or having total control. Quite the opposite. For her, The Retreat is a team working together. Especially tricky for her is taking over for Goulden after such a long tenure, making sure not to step on toes and to ask questions about how he would do things, while also letting her own creativity and ideas dictate some decisions. This balance is hard to strike, but it was obvious during our conversation that the care she has for her work is genuine, and she endeavors to be the best leader possible. Ilardi is incredibly energized and excited about this new era at The Retreat. “I just want everyone to know that The Retreat now is going to be elevated; I have a lot of input with the menu. We have so many ideas to give you guys surveys or do themes, like Oktoberfest…I’m just always moving, and then I go home and I’m a mom to two boys, and I’m still cooking.” Excitement for her work filled up the entire room as we spoke, and I cannot wait to see her ideas come to life.

When I asked about her favorite things to cook at Vassar, I was devastated to hear that she loves to make clam chowder at The Retreat. I desperately need someone without a severe clam allergy to report back on how it is; I am sure it is excellent. Beyond that, Ilardi spoke about how some of her most special memories working here came during her time serving food at Oasis every Wednesday before taking over at the Retreat. She told me about the special connections she made with students she cooked for personally to help them navigate severe allergies at college. More broadly, she described the special emotional connection to working on a college campus that being a mother gives her. “You guys aren’t home with your family, we have to cook for you and take you guys in as one of our own, I always think about if they were my children, I want you to have good meals and be reminded of home.”

Of course, I had to ask a final very serious question: What is Chef Ilardi’s favorite thing to eat? “Lasagna, it reminds me of my grandma, it’s gotta be crispy on the edge. I love ice cream, any kind of ice cream is my favorite. I love chimichangas, [Margaritas] on Route 9 by Kohls, they make the best chimichanga, everything on that menu is fabulous” 

It would be hard to beat a good Mexican restaurant recommendation, but there was one more piece of advice Ilardi wanted to share with all of us. “If what you went to school for initially doesn’t make you happy or doesn’t work it doesn’t mean things are over. Age is nothing but a number, just because you got a degree in mathematics and then you go into the kitchen as a cook or whatever, it doesn’t matter. It’s never too late to start something else.” So, next time you are panicking, desperately trying to figure out if you should apply to law school or learn welding or whatever, consider taking a deep breath and walking over to The Retreat. Take a bite of some delicious food. Let the flavor wash over you and remind you that right now, everything is ok. Remember that even if you do not know them or you cannot see them, there are people all around that care about you and believe in you. Every Vassar student is lucky to count Chef Ilardi as one of those people.