WFQS 329 – Radical Autoerotism
OLB 200
Queer Studies is often delegitimized as a “masturbatory” field, but radical self-love is among the most powerful tools used by gender-minority and gender-variant communities. This seminar draws on examinations of onanism by commentators like Judith Butler and PornHub commenter CumGuzzler86 to determine the utility of “self-defilement” as self-liberation. Stephanie Lazarus.
MATH 002 – QuantAnal for Humanities Majors
Rocky 312
In this lecture course, students who need to fulfill their quantitative analysis requirements but cannot count will be given a refresher on concepts like “addition,” “number lines” and “shapes.” Attendance will be optional. Please, guys, we’re making this easy for you. It’s just one credit. Thomas Wiggles.
GNCS 239 – Readings With a Narrow Focus
Swift 101
This course will act as an introduction to literature on the various straits and narrows of the world, from the Danish Straits of Europe to the North Channel of Europe and even the Straits of Dover of Europe. You will sign up for this class expecting it to be an easy A and come out of it wanting to study straits for the rest of your life. One or maybe two non-British authors will be featured. Anna Thimblewimble.
DRAM 214.5 – Going Joker Mode
Vogelstein 110
What, you think you’re fucking funny? Oh, yeah, look at Mrs. Biology major, on her high horse, making fun of the Drama Department for our clowning class. Well guess what, buddy, clowning is a well-respected art form, and unlike wildlife conservation, it has federal job openings right now. This class will teach you to just flip the fuck out, really go Joker mode on ’em. Jack Napier.
ESCI 389 – Meteorological Persistence
Ely Roof
The most important part of a meteorologist’s skillset is persistence, and in this course, required as part of the Earth Science major, students will be put to the test. Umbrellas, long-sleeved coats and boots are not permitted. By taking this course, you accept responsibility for any electrocutions, broken bones or roof-related injuries. Bert Knuckle.
HIST 001 – The First Modernities
Cave on Preserve
In this, the longest-offered course in Vassar’s catalogue, students will learn of the first dawn of modernity—the advent of the Neolithic—from a professor who was up-and-coming in the field approximately 10,000 years ago. Expect no readings, but plenty of questionably tasteful comments about Denisovans. Thag Simmons.
MEDS 101 – Introductory Piracy
Your Dorm
This course is intended for students who want to learn common methods of piracy, which is illegal, so that they can avoid doing them, because they are illegal. Recommended for anyone who wants to avoid spending 50+ dollars on a textbook. Guy from Your StuFel Group Who Knows How to Torrent.
CLCS 999 – The Perfect Course
Wouldn’t You Like To Know
Offered only once every four years, this course—which would fulfill all of your major requirements, equip you with the skills you need for your dream job and allow you to navigate the world as a more informed person—happens while you’re abroad. Angie Therese.