The Vassar Senior Events Director, Seynour Evants ’26, has made an exciting and intriguing announcement. On Wednesday, April 1, during an impromptu press conference on PB and J’s lawn, Evants announced that he’s planned an all-new senior event for the class of 2026 to enjoy. You’ve heard of the Sunday scaries, but why not be scared on Saturday too? That’s right: on Saturday, April 4, take a break from nursing your 50 Nights hangover and go enjoy 49 Nights! Have a blast on Friday celebrating 50 nights until graduation, and on Saturday, head to the Villard Room to bask in the terror of getting ready to be officially “postgrad.”
49 Nights is a thrilling opportunity to think about all the most horrific aspects of being a college senior. Rather than drinks and revelry, students will have the chance to enjoy things like job rejection letters and scary phone calls with your mom. There will be tables with recruiters from companies who won’t hire you, apartment complexes out of your price range and information about the top five coolest cities to live in after college (they also happen to have the top five unemployment rates in the country, maybe you’re different though!)
There will, of course, be refreshments as well! The Senior Event Council is putting together a delicious spread of off-brand instant ramen, week-old leftovers from the last time you visited your parents that you swear are still fine, and highly tempting delicious snacks that all belong to your roommates and will come with grave consequences, should you choose to consume them. These will all give you an excellent taste of what it’s like to be done with college.
I hope you have a really good time at 49 Nights. You won’t, but wouldn’t that be nice? At the very least you should have an existentially reflective time. Or, you won’t. There is nothing after Vassar. Or maybe there is everything.