Dear Leah,
Hi! This is from a straight lady in the second year at VC, and the pool has run dry. I now find myself with a debilitating crush on my not-that-old professor. I can’t seem to shake it, this crush! And I’m in his class…
Sincerely,
Queen Kong
Dear Queen Kong,
Having a crush on your professor is a tale as old as time. Is this a professor in the English Department? Over these past three years, I’ve found that the English Department has the highest number of objectively hot professors. Trust me, there are a lot of names I could name, but that feels rather unprofessional of me. I think that there’s something about the fact that you never really get a solid number grade on your papers…with their carefully crafted compliment sandwiches…awooga! Honestly, I could talk about the hot professors of the English Department all day. Don’t get me started. Anyways, I’m not going to advise you to shake this crush. I’m certainly not advising you to act on it, but I really do believe that a crush is good for the soul. I also wouldn’t be surprised if you saw a subconscious participation grade improvement and probably an attendance increase, too. Maybe you’d even take advantage of those office hours a little more. It’s great motivation to do well!
You know, according to numerous rumors I’ve heard over the years, it seems that it actually used to be pretty common for professors to dip into the student dating pool. Recently, an alum told me a legend of a certain (and current) Vassar professor who dated her friend when he was still a bright-eyed and bushy-tailed 20-something just starting off in academia, so it wouldn’t be unheard of to shoot your shot. To be fair, Vassar College didn’t put the kibosh on faculty-student relationships until about 10 years ago, and I’ve heard a story or two of Vassar professors living happily ever after with former students. Of course, I can’t name any names, and I cannot, in good conscience, tell you to date your professor. In fact, please don’t. That would be messy. Again, super against school policy now…born too late.
As far as the pool running dry goes, I encourage you to give bisexuality the old college try. Sorry if that advice is crude, but don’t knock it until you try it. Maybe you already have, or maybe you’re already at ease in terms of your sexuality. I support you no matter what. Love is love, but if the thought has ever crossed your mind already, this is your sign. There’s no better place than Vassar College to dip your toes into the bisexual pool. Obviously, that’s easier said than done, so I would otherwise encourage you to check out the first edition of this column.
Regardless, definitely take more classes with this professor if the crush situation improves your grades or experience in the class. If you find it too unbearable, hot professors abound on the Vassar campus. You can have a brand new faculty crush for every semester, even more than that if you take some more six-week courses. Or, just take some more classes in the English Department.
Anyways, my advice is to not shake the crush. Let that high carry you through the rest of the semester. However, don’t act on it. The College won’t really like that too much, and therefore, your professor likely won’t either. It would also make things way harder for you. The way I see it, you should lock into that participation and attendance. Like I said, a crush is good for the soul.
Best,
Leah