Have you ever wondered what’s going on in President Elizabeth Bradley’s head? I know that I sure have. Don’t worry, you needn’t wonder any longer! I took action last week and asked PB the top 20 big questions on everyone’s mind. I hope that this article fulfills all your wildest dreams about getting into PB’s head.
Ed: If you were a cookie, what kind of cookie would you be?
PB: Chocolate chunk, but it has to be with dark chocolate because milk chocolate upsets my stomach.
Ed: If you had to take over coaching one sports team at Vassar, which would you choose?
PB: Squash, of course! I play squash, it has so much strategy to it. Definitely squash.
Ed: What’s your favorite font?
PB: Oh I can’t remember what it’s called, san something? I like fonts that are clean and modern.
Ed: If you were going to star in a biopic, whose would it be?
PB: What is a biopic?
Ed: Like a biographical movie of your life.
PB: Oh, I don’t know. I have no answer for that.
Ed: Who should star in your biopic?
PB: Lucille Ball.
Ed: How many balloons do you think we could fit in this room?
PB: 10,000.
Ed: What is your favorite Monopoly property?
PB: I guess railroads because it’s the only one I can remember.
Ed: Ok, this is a really important one, I think especially for graduating seniors. Imagine you’re at some kind of social gathering and someone comes up to you and you should know their name but you can’t remember it. What do you do to casually figure it out?
PB: Ok, I do have an answer for this. You need at least two people, you need to be in a group—it’s really tough to figure out if you’re one on one. So you grab someone from your group who doesn’t know the person and you bring them over to the person whose name you can’t remember. You just need to get them to introduce themselves to each other; then the person will say their name and you’re set.
Ed: Do you have a favorite joke?
PB: I don’t really tell jokes.
Ed: What spice do you use most often when you cook?
PB: Well now you’re assuming that I cook, which is not true, but I can tell you what my favorite spice that my husband uses is. It’s curry powder. My kids don’t really like curry, but they’re out of the house now so we have a lot of curry.
Ed: Are you more of a sweet breakfast or savory breakfast person?
PB: Sweet, always sweet.
Ed: Ok, so if you had to choose between french toast, pancakes or waffles what would it be?
PB: Definitely waffles.
Ed: When was the last time you used glitter or glitter glue?
PB: When I had three little kids, so about 10 years ago. There’s always glitter with kids.
Ed: If you woke up tomorrow as a baby but with all of your current memories and knowledge, what would be your first move?
PB: You know, all I can think of is running away from Harold Pollock, who tried to kiss me on the playground in first grade. I can still remember what he looks like.
Ed: Do you think claymation is cute or creepy?
PB: What is claymation?
Ed: It’s like making an animated movie where everything is made out of clay that you move slightly for each frame. There’s some famous claymation Christmas movies you might’ve seen, some people think they’re kind of creepy though.
PB: Oh, sure. I think it’s cute.
Ed: People are doing this thing right now where they eat one hot dog every inning of a baseball game. Could you do that?
PB: No, I couldn’t even eat one bite of a hot dog for one inning.
Ed: What’s your favorite kind of condiment?
PB: Cinnamon sugar.
Ed: If a polite little family of squirrels moved into the walls of your house, would you let them stay or evict them?
PB: Let them stay; you just have to live with them. You know, in the attic of the President’s House, there’s an entire hive of bees. When it gets hot the honey soaks through the wall and down onto the floor. You just see that on the top floor of the President’s House sometimes, we clean it up. You can’t get rid of them; you just have to live with them.
Ed: What are your thoughts on garden gnomes?
PB: It really depends what they’re made of. I don’t like when people throw a bunch of plastic crap into a garden, but if they are unique and come at you being sort of magical, that’s nice.
Ed: Did you ever run a lemonade stand as a child, and if so, was it successful?
PB: I participated in a lemonade stand, I hadn’t really developed my leadership skills yet so I didn’t run it. As to whether or not it was successful, I think it was because we had fun.
Well, folks, there you have it. If a colony of bees ever moves into your attic, you know who to call!