Last Friday, Amazon announced Prime Day would take place from Oct. 6 to 7. The company released a video previewing the event. “Prime Day isn’t just about customer discounts—it’s about making the world a better place,” said Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos. “That’s why we’re taking the extraordinary step of allowing our delivery drivers to urinate in a restroom once per shift.” Toward the end of the promo, the billionaire apologized to employees who would be excluded from this “once-in-a-lifetime opportunity,” because an “interruption in their work would disrupt global supply chains and bring about Armageddon.”
Since its founding, Amazon has been accused countless times of exploiting its workers. In 2023, three delivery drivers sued the shopping giant for assigning them schedules that left them no choice but to pee in bottles. These allegations of worker abuse compounded pre-existing concerns regarding the harm online shopping inflicts on the environment. Late last year, the shopping titan announced on its website a change that would address the environmental and humanitarian concerns: “We’ve heard your criticism. That’s why we’re proud to introduce Waste Bags. They’re twice as large as cups and 100 percent biodegradable.”
Another troubling story, reported in 2019, detailed Amazon’s reliance on child labor. A Chinese factory producing Amazon smart devices was operated by hundreds of children whose overnight hours violated labor laws. A federal judge instructed Amazon’s lead defense lawyer, Alexis Costa, “Alexa, stop.” Amazon countered by requesting amnesty for workers peeing and defecating in bags who were not yet potty-trained.
Critics of the Prime Day promotion suspect there are ulterior motives at play. One source told The Miscellany News that the company was “simply going to run out of Waste Bags” by the start of October. For that reason, Amazon issued a memo last month asking employees to avoid drinking water during the day. Water joins a list of discouraged items that includes asparagus, which was banned last year to “maintain nice-smelling vans.”
The recent fears of a bag shortage grew so large that Amazon reportedly debated firing male delivery drivers who were “past their prime” and experiencing “prostate changes.” The event would be called “Prime Layoffs,” and would be celebrated with “discounts and free expedited shipping.”
Peeing in bags is something that Bezos holds closely to his heart. His parents split when he was three years old. Bezos’ biological father, Jed Jorgenson, was interviewed by “Inside Edition” in 2008 shortly after discovering that his estranged son was one of the richest people in the world. Jorgenson was a bicycle repairman and said that, despite his humble living style and health issues, he wanted nothing from Bezos other than to “see him, shake his hand and tell him he’s really done a good job with his life.” Bezos never reached out to his father, who passed away from lung and heart complications in 2015. Sources tell the Misc that Jorgenson begged his son to pay for life-saving heart surgery, but Bezos said he’d only do so if the procedure required a catheter.