
Columnist gets super meta and weird with final column
“Who gets to speak and why? […] is the only question,” (Chris Kraus, “I Love Dick,” 1997). Dear Reader: I want you to read this like it’s for you. I…
By Emmett O’Malley – 4 years ago
“Who gets to speak and why? […] is the only question,” (Chris Kraus, “I Love Dick,” 1997). Dear Reader: I want you to read this like it’s for you. I…
By Emmett O’Malley – 4 years ago
[Chorus] “Damian Lillard makes 30-foot running pullup jump shot” (ESPN, “Thunder vs. Trail Blazers — Play-by-Play,” 04.14.19). Rhetorically, this sentence is far from spectacular. Substantively, however, its majesty tells you…
By Emmett O’Malley – 4 years ago
“For the third time in the modern era, it is my joy and honor to say,‘The Beavers are the National Champions!’” If you are not a sports fan from the…
By Myles Olmsted, Mack Liederman and Emmett O’Malley – 4 years ago
The NBA regular season is finally over. Let me repeat that: THE NBA REGULAR SEASON IS FINALLY, MERCIFULLY, THANK GODIDLY OVER! NBA fans such as myself are stumbling out of…
By Emmett O’Malley – 5 years ago
A Play When the University of Virginia’s DeAndre Hunter caught a pass from teammate Jay Huff, the nearest Duke defender was approximately 20 feet away… The 6’7” Hunter, undoubtedly a…
By Emmett O’Malley – 5 years ago
Preface: I wrote this column in accordance with the length of the song “Jealous” by Labrinth. If you finish the column before the song is over…cool. If you can’t finish…
By Emmett O’Malley – 5 years ago
This is the way the world ends Not with a bang but with a whimper —T.S. Eliot Eliot’s canonical final stanza in his poem “The Hollow Men” echoed through my…