Horoscopes: November 19
It’s not bad to leave reality for a bit. Imagine yourself on a super-fancy boat, away from all the troubles of the world, a glass of champagne in your hand…
Madi Donat
Horoscopes: November 12
It’s movie recs this week because we could all use a break. I keep thinking about “Knives Out.” Who knew the guy from the mediocre/bad second “Star Wars” movie could…
Horoscopes: November 5
Would you be Godzilla? If, you know, you were given the opportunity and all of the technicalities and logistics were handled and all that. Is it preferable to whatever this…
HORRORscopes: October 29
It isn’t safe to sit in the dark. Let the light in, slowly so as not to disturb anyone––or anything. Then again, maybe it’s better not knowing. Your brain may…
Horoscopes: October 22
Cook. Make something just for you. Share it with friends if it makes you happy, or just eat it all yourself. Get creative with ingredients––scour the Deece for hidden gems!…
Horoscopes: October 15
The treasure you seek is just beyond the pines. Fear not, for a drink from your magic goblet will help you reach it. Beware, however, for here be dragons. A…
Horoscopes: October 8
You don’t feel like yourself this week, which is normal—everyone has off days. On the other hand, you might be possessed. If you think this might be the case, write…
Horoscopes: October 1
ARIESMarch 21 | April 19 Motivation’s hard / (Mars is still in retrograde). / Keep a tight schedule. Make a brand new friend! / Do socially distant meals. / Tell…
Horoscopes: September 24
As it begins to get cold, make sure your fashion is in order. I am very powerful, and thus have the ability to decide the color of the season––it’s green.…
Horoscopes: September 17
You feel caged in right now, but remember: That cursed amulet I gave you should get you out of any bind. Wait, you…you lost it? You lost the cursed amulet?…