Student encounters small issues while using baby bathroom
I have to crouch down to sit on my toilet at home. “Way to brag about how tall you are,” you might be thinking. I have two things to say…
Vivian Phillips
Post-pandemic situation reveals writer’s fear of human nipples
I often forget how much of a prude I am. I forget, mostly, because my prudishness is inadvertent. I don’t want to be a prude, nor do I make…
The Academic Mythos
I know more about Greek mythology than I do about the Bible. As a member of the generation that grew up with Percy Jackson novels, this isn’t very surprising. However,…
Humor writer rides the highway to Heaven
I have always been an awful driver. I don’t understand why society expects everyone to innately know how to park ginormous chunks of metal in between each other like some…
Student pulls all-nighter, pretends they got up early
For all of the time I spend in my bed, I don’t get much sleep. Lately I have become partial to all-nighters. There is something about watching the sunrise while…
Let your finger fly: Giving my mother the bird
Parents set the stage for the relationships we have with our emotions for the rest of our lives. A mother’s hug exposes us to the warmth of love, a game…
Tales of airport travel during COVID-19
When I arrived at the airport, I realized I hadn’t eaten. That morning, the idea of eating anything made me sick. Over my disposable mask I was wearing an N95,…
Texan(s) see snow for the first time
I have seen more snow in the past week than Ted Cruz. Normally this wouldn’t be saying much, as Cruz, like me, is from Texas, but given the circumstances, it…
Vassar College: The hottest new retirement home
There are so many events happening on this campus, it’s ridiculous. Never in my life have I had access to so many activities. I develop early-onset arthritis in the knitting…
The tale of a vending machine vendetta
The last thing I expected to do my first year of college was start a life of crime, yet here I am. I am a criminal—a fugitive—and this is my…