Humor & Satire
The Loeb to open new exhibit: Crude Bathroom Etchings
This week, the Frances Lehman Loeb Art Center officially unveiled its new exhibition: “Stalls to the Past: Vassar Bathroom Graffiti.” The announcement came at a shock to many Loeb stakeholders,…
Ancient Dark Ritual Club disbands due to lack of interest
After decades of existence as a staple of Vassar’s extracurricular scene, Ancient Dark Ritual Club is set to discontinue meetings after the fall semester. Club President Banthar the Inquisitor ’27…
Horoscopes
Aries Don’t choose the Earl Grey tea this week. You’ll steep it too long, and it will be a whole thing. Taurus Happy Holidays Get that pumpkin spice latte VBucks…
Vassar President pleads for two fives to break a ten
President Bradley has change in mind. Over the past few hours, announcements have been made detailing her greatest challenge since taking office: She needs to break a $10 bill into…
Vassar to add new majors in hijinks and tomfoolery
Vassar College announced plans to offer two new majors: hijinks and tomfoolery. Both majors will fall under the college’s recently established Shenanigans Department. The department will be developed further throughout…
Vassar leaves Seven Sisters, now identifies as brother
At Convocation, President Elizabeth Bradley announced to the community that Vassar College was leaving the Seven Sisters. The Chapel’s audience reportedly writhed with excitement, shock and indignation. But according to…
Interviewing a rugby refugee: A harrowing tale
There is one question that Vassar scholars have struggled with for decades: Why does the rugby team always need new players? It seems like a simple question at first, but…
Horoscopes
Aries: Oh no! You have a big event tonight that you COMPLETELY forgot about. The only thing you have to wear is… Shaileine Woodley’s Balenciaga jumpsuit from the 2026 Emmy’s?!…
