*Space filler article*: Because blank space is boring
Coming to the realization that I am a firstyear student, the idea of midterms not occurring in each and every class is strange to me. Admittedly, this could be due…
Humor & Satire
Goddess of Satire showers Vassar with godly wisdom
Dear Mom, Now that it’s getting colder I no longer want to ride my scooter around campus. But walking is horrible and I never want to do that either. What…
‘Twitches’: They’re witches…who are twins! Keep up
Grab your twin and get ready for a review of the best Halloween movie ever made! There will be some spoilers, but this movie came out literally 15 years ago…
Horoscopes: Oct. 17
Stop buying cute notebooks at the Juliet.You’ve bought one per week since the semester started and have yet to write in any of them. You’re going bankrupt and killing the…
Students placed in Wellness immediately go sober
You don’t drink often, but from time to time you like to get a little bit smashed. Maybe you’ve vaped before, or smoked some weed at a party. Or maybe…
‘Sharkboy and Lavagirl’: The best goddamn movie ever made
We all remember being eight years old and begging our parents to let us stay up past 10 p.m. to finish watching “The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3-D”…
Momus, Goddess of Satire, counsels strung-out students
Dear Momus, I have refused to do my laundry for weeks and now I am living in a pile of dirty clothes! Can you please help motivate me to clean…
Horoscopes: Oct. 10
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. But you shouldn’t beat around the bush, cause the early bird catches the worm. Even though there’s two of…