Horoscoops
Aries When faced with a barrage of choices, such as when walking into the famed ice cream parlor next to your mom’s physical therapy office, don’t get yourself down freaking…
Humor & Satire
Who is most mad this March? A comprehensive basketball team
March—the month of mad. This angry period is accentuated by two college basketball tournaments in which the maddest team wins, a festival known as “March Madness.” Yet year after year,…
Riddled with spring break boredom, Miss Likki gets addicted to The Sims 4
Like many enthusiastic Vassar students, I had huge, exaggerated hopes for spring break that were promptly shut down by the joyless drudgery of reality and a failure to make cohesive…
Lines wrap all around campus for Global Kitchen’s new British concept bowl
The Global Kitchen introduced its new British concept bowl this week to universal acclaim, with desperate students lining up for hours. The bowl, which incorporates British staples like beans on…
Plan a fun spring break for pennies on the dollar!
So, how was your spring break? It’s a simple enough question, and yet those six little words are enough to strike terror in the hearts of Vassarites everywhere. Simply open…
Observation #2
Some shoes are not meant to be worn. — Anna Kozloski
Horoscopes
Aries Running away could solve all your problems, or it could cause more. Sometimes causing problems can be fun, though, because it allows you to see new sides of people.…
How to sleep as snug as a bug in a rug
A lot of people ask me, “How do you sleep at night?” and I tell them, “Certainly not by mulling over my past transgressions. Irreparable damage is a daytime thing,…
How to beat the disastrous lunch rush
As a busy Vassar student, it isn’t always easy to find time for a nice lunch. With four classes, 40 hours of homework and 400 extracurricular activities to balance at…
‘Stop calling me the Sex Tree’: Campus landmark speaks out
Please stop calling me the Sex Tree. I do have an actual name, you know. I think “The Class of 1963 Tree” has a very nice ring to it, and…