Humor & Satire

A collection of affirmations for a Vassar morning

By Nandini Likki – 2 weeks ago

[CW: This article contains mentions of disordered eating.]   You are an adult. You get up at a reasonable time every morning. You do not spend the first 30 minutes…

The fool-proof guide to solo apartment living

By Alyssa Willeford – 2 weeks ago

Living alone can be a lot of fun. Maybe you’re trying to avoid annoying roommates. Maybe you’ve finally found a housing situation humble enough that you can afford it on…

Star-Crossed Lovers

By – 2 weeks ago

To a cat in pursuit of its tail Said a wistful, heartbroken snail, “Beware a heart set On what it can’t get! I should know; I’m in love with a…

Horoscopes

By – 3 weeks ago

Aries This week, thoughts rattle around your head like they are beads and your head is a maraca. There are lots of benefits to this: Firstly, you get to make…

The intense and harrowing study abroad scramble

By Alyssa Willeford – 3 weeks ago

Have you ever wondered whether you could abandon the daily Vassar grind, just chuck it all out and start again in some faraway land? Have you ever wanted to try…

A Funeral Toll

By Isabel Stowe – 3 weeks ago

Across the world hear peal of mourning bells For our belovèd queen has last been felled. Our sex tree! Grief for Vassar’s majesty, Adored by all the classes ever known,…

An Oversized Menace

By Anna Kozloski – 3 weeks ago

There once was a girl from De Bilt Who exclusively traveled by stilt; She’d stride way up high And stomp passersby Then chortle with no trace of guilt.   –…

Horoscopes

By – 4 weeks ago

Aries New beginnings are always hard. Sometimes you just need to listen to some weird music to clean out your brain. Put on some beeps and boops by a German…