Humor & Satire
President Bradley to debut new ‘endless’ Sunday email
Inspired by the “infinite scroll” algorithms of social media sites like TikTok, Instagram and Facebook, President of the College Elizabeth Bradley announced plans on Tuesday to release a new “endless”…
(W)Hor(e)oscopes
(Check your Sun and Venus signs, if you’re into that sorta thing) Aries Luck in love will soon come your way! Your intensity drives away those who can’t hack it,…
Valentine’s Day headlines from another publication
Date who says they’re “down for anything” is clearly biased towards one hyper-specific option These two people would each clearly rather be at home, in their underwear, watching YouTube…
How to not buy a car: Writer provides foolproof guide
At the ripe old age of 21, I can say for sure that I have made my fair share of bad decisions. Nothing so far has been irreversible, but some…
Renowned romance advisor The Love Queen makes her debut
I really want to talk to him but I barely see him, so there is no way to naturally start up a conversation. I’m also worried that he isn’t attracted…
‘We can’t find it either’: A librarian admits that they lost the Art Library but they’re too afraid to ask anyone where it is
Speaking anonymously to The Miscellany News this week, a Vassar librarian revealed that they and all of their colleagues lost track of the Art Library in late 2018 and haven’t…
AN OBSERVATION
Humans do not make good woodpeckers. — Anna Kozloski
Horoscopes
Aries Examine your vices and guilty pleasures this week. Are the things you like guilty pleasures because they are traditionally liked by teenage girls, or are they actually worth a…
Making things weird: An admirable 2023 resolution
It is no secret that everyone’s sense of humor is unique and different, and what we find funny varies greatly based on the person. Some find humor in cynicism, some…