Humor & Satire

Investigating R.A.T.S, Raymond’s rampant illness

By Cassandra Brook – 3 weeks ago

Unaware. Innocent. Youthful. These were three words that described me when, just two weeks ago, I arrived on the Vassar campus for the start of my freshman year. In July…

Students await the second coming of Retreat hot food

By Nicholas Tillinghast – 3 weeks ago

Vassar Dining has found new ways to sink deeper into the depths of mediocrity and disappointment. This past week, they announced via email that hot food items at the popular…

Donald Trump Scouted, Signed to IMG Models

By Josie Wenner – 3 weeks ago

In new mugshots released, Donald Trump wows fans and floors critics. The photographs have been described as “breathtaking,” “magical” and “never been done before.” These images have landed the “Home…

Horoscopes

By Oliver Stewart – 3 weeks ago

Aries This week, embrace change. Things may not go exactly the way you want them to, but ultimately, that may be for the best. Embrace chaos, too. Too much order…

Final Horoscopes

By – 3 months ago

Well, folks, the stars have told me it’s time to say goodbye. It’s been an absolute joy being your astrological liaison these past four years. I can only hope I…

Horoscopes

By Nandini Likki – 5 months ago

Aries I think the most Aries thing that I can tell you about my dad is that he once randomly flew to Jamaica with a friend because he wanted to…