Humor & Satire

SERVILE SUBVERSION

By – 1 month ago

An exceedingly menacing maid Loved to creep through the halls in the shade. Whispering oaths no one knows, She’d leap about on her toes And take jabs at the air…

Horoscopes

By – 1 month ago

Aries Getting wasted and feeling like death the next morning is OUT; refined, classy parties are IN! Next time you want to have a gathering, why not impress with some…

Princely Perils

By – 1 month ago

The shrieks of one puny Prince Gibb Roused a nurse to inspect the babe’s crib. Her findings were shocking— A cradle still rocking A singular, semi-mauled rib.   – Anna…

Thesis writing for the intellectually inadequate

By Alyssa Willeford – 1 month ago

Are you a starry-eyed freshperson? Are you overwhelmed with the possibilities of your Vassar career, at the thought of eating Deece food for three more years and sleeping in the…

President Bradley to debut new ‘endless’ Sunday email

By Oliver Stewart – 1 month ago

Inspired by the “infinite scroll” algorithms of social media sites like TikTok, Instagram and Facebook, President of the College Elizabeth Bradley announced plans on Tuesday to release a new “endless”…

(W)Hor(e)oscopes

By – 2 months ago

(Check your Sun and Venus signs, if you’re into that sorta thing) Aries Luck in love will soon come your way! Your intensity drives away those who can’t hack it,…

Valentine’s Day headlines from another publication

By Nandini Likki – 2 months ago

Date who says they’re “down for anything” is clearly biased towards one hyper-specific option   These two people would each clearly rather be at home, in their underwear, watching YouTube…