Vassar forgets to admit any students
With less than a week remaining until the May 1 deadline for high school seniors to commit to a college, The Miscellany News understands that Vassar has, to date, forgotten…
Humor & Satire
Vassar Brewers’ victory at Union a victory for union brewing at Vassar Brew
Last Saturday evening, triumphant shouting could be heard from a group of 15 excited students sitting in the Old Bookstore near The Brew. After further inquiry, it was revealed these…
Fruitless Fortunes
A woman who claimed premonition Put her services up for vendition. At each client, she’d shriek, “Your future is bleak! One day you will need a mortician!” – Anna Kozloski
Horoscopes
Aries Travel seems alluring this week. Maybe hop on a plane and jet over to Europe somewhere. I’ve heard Airbnb’s are cheap in Athens. Or perhaps experiment in Aviation. Everyone…
The Nature Report: Watchin’ Blooms 2023, new skunk on the block
Ah. ’Tis spring at Vassar College. The cheery robin and the squeaky starling have returned. The wasps and bumbles are awake, stalking me on the window screens daily. The bumbles…
Local real estate: Jewett House goes on sale
Have you just moved to the gorgeous town of Poughkeepsie, and you’re now looking for a place to stay? I’ve only been in the business for a couple of months,…
Vassar installs tropical rainforest in Library basement so more people get lost there
After facing backlash from complaints that the Library basement is too simple and easy to navigate, Vassar announced its three-year Joint Unilateral New Greener Library Experiment (JUNGLE) plan on Tuesday…
Sping Concet ovecomes poblems with weathe and “R” key
ViCE Music’s Sping Concet, which had been in the woks fo months, suffeed a last-minute setback on Satuday as inclement weathe pevented the headline, JPEGMAFIA, fom appeaing as planned. Howeve,…
DO NOT READ IF ON FRISBEE
Many know me as a friend, a confidant, a humor writer. But, what many people don’t know is that I am a student athlete. Yes, it’s true… I am on…
Here’s some self-care for the mentally unwell
Have you ever felt like you weren’t quite yourself? Is all that stress—of schoolwork, jobs, relationships and knowing that the mole people are soon to emerge from their burrows and…