Trump card: 10 new policies Bernie Sanders should start
So far in the 2016 U.S. Presidential Race, Senator Bernie “Feel the Burn” Sanders has been climbing the polls. People left and right (read: left and left) have been frantically…
satire
Acclaimed music critic kicks pop songs while they are up
If you spent time with a faulty aux cord this summer, you must have encountered some new music. I said new, not good. Here are five of the lowlights. 1.…
Student lies on the couch all summer, then lies about it
“Hey Lily! How was your summer? What did you do?” Ok, I hate those questions already. For most people, the answer is quite simple. They usually went on vacation to…
Mr. Bouchard’s Guide to: Livin’ dat fulfilling Humor Editor Emeritus life
Note: Due to considerable editorial concern, the following column has been extensively fact-checked by the Miscellany News
Reporter should probably know when to keep things to himself
This is my first time writing for the humor section, and I’ve decided to use this opportunity as a safe space to get some things off my chest. As senior…
Actual and imagined Yelp reviews of Vassar College
Actual Yelp reviews of Vassar College 5 Stars–A million people (4) thought Yelp was a place to write the entire story of their time at Vassar, which is great, but…
Bad television is a relative term, OK?
There are many things I do that are just utterly unnecessary. For example, I buy all my music. I always match my outfit with my underwear. And, I still watch…
How to make an infectious disease vaguely enjoyable
I spent this past weekend suffering from the horrible malady of pink eye—the highly contagious and widely feared disease that infects those who are constantly surrounded by various unwashed surfaces…
Excavation of senior’s dorm room causes identity crisis
I only kind of remember my first day at Vassar, partially because it was basically eons ago but also because I was pretty hopped up on allergy meds that my…
Fall TV shows reveal new, totally real plot lines in titles
The new fall season is upon us television-watchers, and I don’t know about the rest of y’all but I’m personally lactating with anticipation. For the Netflix and Hulu subscribers, the…