In new mugshots released, Donald Trump wows fans and floors critics. The photographs have been described as “breathtaking,” “magical” and “never been done before.” These images have landed the “Home Alone 2: Lost in New York” actor his next big break: a contract with IMG Models.
“Donald Trump is the fresh new face this industry needs,” reports an IMG scout. “That hair, those eyes. His digitals will just blow you away. The way he works the room, commanding the space, with just his walk…well, it’s a one-in-a-million kind of talent.”
In addition to the signing, Trump has announced a new stage name: Don. “Don is bold, innovative and creative. He’s everything women want and everything men want to be. This rebrand simply highlights his transformation and growth as he moves into the person he wants to be,” said agent Ken Higgins.
Don’s rebranding signals his metamorphosis and the change he’s undergone. From the first president to be impeached twice to the first president to be charged with criminal activity, he’s worn a lot of hats over the years. He may want to shed his former self and the negativity associated with the name as he looks into an newer, brighter future.
“Yes, modeling and being the president are very different,” Higgins comments. “But they share a few key similarities that I think Don excels at. You need to rule the room. You need to step decisively. You know, wars have been won and lost based on the way a man moves his hips. And above all, you need to look good, and no one can deny that the face in that picture is a Greek god among men.”
However, looks alone do not make a model. We’ve heard rumors that Don is being trained for the runway by top-notch industry members. Higgins reported his participation in a “modeling boot camp,” led by “America’s Next Top Model” host and titan of industry Tyra Banks.
“Tyra loves Don,” Higgins gushes. “She says he’s a natural. He’s needed less catwalk training than anyone she’s ever met.” Banks could not be reached for comment, but a representative simply stated that “some people are just born to strut.”
Some call Don’s mugshot a sign of the end of his career, but we see it as a beginning. “That piercing gaze, those troubled eyes,” sighs longtime Don fan Cathy Johnson. “He’s just so deep. You can tell he has so much going on beneath the surface.” Perhaps Don’s recent indictment will tell us just how much.