ARIES
Is your radiator clanging extra loudly this week? It’s because the radiator man (the little man who lives in your radiator who heats it up) wants a break and a snack. Who are you to deny him this? Let him out, let him roam, give him a snack. He deserves it.
TAURUS
Please stop talking at full volume in the library. I don’t know why people keep doing this, nobody wants to hear about your petty roommate drama while trying to finish an essay. Most issues can be solved by a productive conversation, just not one in the library.
GEMINI
It’s time to start getting ready for the holidays. Put up some festive lights! Reminisce on your favorite memories from this time of year. For example: mine was when my younger sister broke my favorite Christmas ornament because she thought it would be funny. It was not.
CANCER
Make sure that you’re eating enough fruits and vegetables. It’s easy to forget that you need various vitamins and minerals when you eat Annie’s White Cheddar Mac & Cheese Microwaveable Cups for an undisclosed number of meals. You can brave the Deece, it’s okay. I believe in you.
LEO
Winter is coming, so enjoy the fall leaves while you can. Have a leaf-crunching competition with your friends: Whoever gets the crunchiest leaf gets to throw the pieces of the broken leaf at the losers. That’s what happens when you pick a bad leaf.
VIRGO
Start doing morning affirmations. Say them aloud to yourself in the bathroom mirror, while making direct eye contact with the guy down the hall who is just trying to brush his teeth, if you so desire. He needs to know that you are working on self-improvement.
LIBRA
When making plans for this week, remember to check in with how you really feel first. Do you really want to get lunch with that person from your class? Or would you rather sit alone in silence and be horrified at the occasional acts of PDA in the Deece? The choice is yours.
SCORPIO
Take the time to appreciate the people who made you the person you are today. Your parents, friends, teachers, childhood enemies and/or book or TV show characters. Send them a nice note, just like that segment that I think Jimmy Fallon does on his show. I wouldn’t know, I’ve never seen it.
SAGITTARIUS
Buy a snack from the vending machine. I usually go for a bag of Goldfish. A fun little drink is always a good option. You really can’t go wrong here. Unless you buy the pastry things that sometimes pop up. If you’re considering that, you may need to reevaluate your life decisions.
CAPRICORN
Join a tour group! Just start following one around and see if anyone notices. The key is to trail slightly too far behind them so it looks a little off-putting, but close enough so people can tell you’re with the group. Anything to be mysterious.
AQUARIUS
Reflect on how this inconsistent weather makes you feel. Weird, right? Or maybe that’s just me. Combat the overcast skies and early sunset by doing fun things, like wearing a cool hat. Or drinking some hot chocolate, if that’s your thing.
PISCES
Take the time to appreciate the new version of “Northern Attitude” by Noah Kahan with Hozier. Walk around campus playing it in some headphones. Or out loud, I don’t think that anyone would mind.