For seniors sharing news of recent employment: DON’T
I was walking through the Retreat, minding my own business, dreaming only of an over-priced Retreatzza with all of the Sriracha and garlic powder this world has to offer—when you…
Humor & Satire
#TBT: 5 rejected Mug Night themes Vassar should instate
Preschool Mug Night Although college students doused in Crystal Palace vodka are already at the capacity of three- and four-year-olds, other logistical factors kept this idea from graduating to the…
Misc-Adventurous Maddy’s 9 Tips for Your Bae-less Valentine’s Day
I have never had a Valentine. This is not to say I’ve had an entirely bae-less existence devoid of love and romance, but my great romantic conquests have never coincided…
AskBanner: the Misc’s “Weekly” “Advice” Column
Banner, I’m a senior living in Noyes House. I have a small problem (no, it’s not about my friend group, which I lack). You see, my room looks directly into…
The Misc’s Guide to: those 4 students who make life hell
With the new Ice Age upon us, there’s a chance you’ve yet to have all of your classes. Spring semester: different classes, new professors, a chance to up your procrastination…
‘I’m sorry, I <3 you:’ terrified senior emails thesis advisor
Good morning, Professor, It’s a beautiful day today, isn’t it? Well, I mean, if you consider snow beautiful, which I do. I mean, don’t we all? Ha. So, yeah, about…
AskBanner: Winter Break Edition of the Misc’s “Weekly” “Advice” Column
Dear Banner, How does one cope with their parents over winter break? I love them, really I do, and I would never ever (I mean EVER) wish harm upon them.…
Broken hearts, brand-new starts: a letter to the Captain
I’ve never done this with anyone before. I mean, I’ve never been in a relationship or anything even close to one for longer than, like, a week, so, um, here…
VC Gossip Girl provides 13 tips for the aspiring socialite
Instead of reading Wikipedia Articles about feline AIDS or the victrola as I am wont to do, I spent my break thinking about the Upper East Side and what kind…
First-year student tackles Black Friday shenanigans
All was silent. No one else moved, spoke, or even breathed, for that matter. They all just stared at the locked automatic sliding doors with this sort of hungry look…