Horoscopes
Aries You know what you want to do? Come to paper critique at 9 p.m. on Sunday nights. You want to come so that you can tell everyone else on…
Humor & Satire
Epic poem consisting of epic(?) Donald Trump Tweets
They should not have taken large amounts of money from a Crooked Hillary source When Clinton was under investigation by the FBI I never called his wife a loser to…
“JYA-er” divulges how “great” it is to “actually” be abroad
Every week, a different student writes about their incredible experiences studying abroad. Living in a foreign country, or even just leaving Vassar for another part of the United States, seems…
Hot take: College kids are babies who need help pooping
I know what you were thinking right before you came to Vassar: “I’m an adult with adult responsibilities and adult stamina! I can handle anything!” You thought that you had…
Horoscopes
Aries I’ve become addicted to almond milk in hopes of bonding with my sister, but she still doesn’t call me…Unrequited love sucks. Don’t put up with it. Steal all of…
French New Wave confuses, as do complicated pastries
Those who keep up with my personal life will remember that I finally declared a film major. For many, this came as a surprise since I am still not really…
Top tips to survive singledom while disrupting love this Valentine’s Day
It’s that scary and annoying time of the year again, when one only feels validated and worthy if they have some sort of romantic affiliation. Yes, I’m talking about Valentine’s…
Gale-force wind batters student as she crosses river to Deece haven
“You might want to get your wits about you!” My roommate flung the dorm door wide open. “There’s a frightful storm, and I fear that Lathrop might flood, so…” He…
Frostbitten student searches for lost ring finger in tundra
The polar vortex swirled over Vassar last week with a vengeance, layering the ground with patches of ice and then coating people in snow to fool anyone who might think,…
Faux gamer girl discloses secret steps for securing your own lady lover
Hey, guys! It’s me, your favorite Tik Tok star wannabe and faux gamer girl. I was browsing Quora and Wikihow the other day for strictly academic reasons when I stumbled…