President Trump to Obama: ‘I’d tapp that’

Barack Obama has tapped maple trees for sap, has tapped kegs in college and grad school, and has never ever ever ever tapped a phone. / Courtesy of Pixabay and US State Dept.

On March 4 President Donald Trump accused President Obama of wire tapping the phones in Trump Tower. These claims have since been refuted by President Obama and Director of the FBI James Comey. However, it has become clear that although Obama didn’t wiretap the phones in Trump Tower, he has, in fact, “tapped” in a number of ways.

On March 7 Director Comey stated that Obama has tapped kegs, in college, law school, and at those White House events that always seemed so classy. According to Comey, Obama has recently taken an interest in tapping maple trees for sap to make syrup. According to Michelle, Barack is an incredible tap dancer: “Perhaps that’s what Trump meant to say? His talent has been hidden for years.” As Comey said, “President Trump has simply confused the sort of tapping Obama has been up to.”

Trump tweeted, “How low has President Obama gone to tapp my phones during the sacred election process. This is Nixon/Watergate. Bad (or sick) guy!” A quick google search for “tapp” yields few results, but also something very telling: Trump could not possibly be talking about wiretapping. He may be talking about The Tapp (a permanently closed Gastro Pub in Tarrytown), Tapp TV, or the Teenage Pregnancy and Parenting Program at NewYork-Presbyterian (although honestly this acronym should really be TPPP).

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