I really want to talk to him but I barely see him, so there is no way to naturally start up a conversation. I’m also worried that he isn’t attracted to me…I’m lost. What can I do??
Hey, queen! I’m sure many people can relate to this right now—myself included. Personally, I’m not above stalking a crush or figuring out their class schedule to “run into” them at Retreat after their class and strike up a “natural” conversation, but if you want to go about this in a less creepy, more natural way, here’s what I would suggest:
If you have him on any social media, you could react to his stories or send him a TikTok that reminds you of him in hopes that it sparks a conversation. If you don’t already have him added, the next time you see him at a party or social setting, you can ask for his Snap and try to talk more that way—we all know that Snapchat is the prime flirting app :)
You could also invite him (and his friends) to hang out with your friend group or to pregame before the next Molé Molé or Juliet College Night. Group settings can be less intimidating and a great way to get to know someone further. I know making the first move is scary, but it’s also sexy, so don’t be afraid to reach out!
And about whether or not he finds you attractive, I’m sure you’re a gorgeous queen and a bad bitch, so if he doesn’t like you, that’s truly his loss. But, honestly, sometimes attraction grows over time, and the more time you spend with him, the more he will grow to like you.
I feel like my boyfriend doesn’t love me as much as I love him anymore. We used to spend more time together, but lately it feels like his priorities have changed to make me a side character in his life. I want my old boyfriend back. How do I bring this up to him?
Hey, queen! Soo… the toxic part of me wants you to confront and question him about who or what he’s spending all his time with and why it’s not you, but don’t listen to her. I’m going to let the mature side of me advise you on this one.
Your feelings are always valid, and it’s important to not bottle them up. But I want to give you some peace of mind and remind you that it’s not always about the quantity of time spent together, but the quality.
He could genuinely just be busy with other things at the moment that need his attention more. That doesn’t mean he loves you any less; it just means he has to focus on other things right now. Maybe his classes are super difficult this semester, or he’s got a lot of personal things on his mind. It’s important that he be able to take space for himself if he needs it as well.
If you feel like he’s not making enough time for you, don’t badger him. Take this as an opportunity to start hanging out with your friends more or take days to focus on yourself. At the end of the day, your needs are important, too. And hey, if you also make less of an effort to hang out and he notices the distance and realizes he misses you, it might cause him to start putting in more of an effort to see you. That’s what we call a reverse psychology win-win situation.
But even if he doesn’t, don’t panic. Try to have a constructive conversation where you express your feelings. Don’t grill him—just mention how you feel like you are spending less time together and that you would like to see him more. Also remember that you’re not taking the space to test him, but rather to maintain a strong sense of self without him.