How do I find a long-term romantic relationship in college? Everyone seems to be already dating or only interested in hooking up. I have been debating getting Tinder, but I don’t know if it’s the right path. So, how do I find love?
Hey, queen! Hook-up culture in college can definitely be hard, especially if you are only looking to date long-term. At Vassar, it can be really easy to feel super single, especially since there are so many cute couples you will see walking around campus holding hands, sharing a meal at the Deece, sitting outside on the grass laughing and having a picnic on a warm day, or sucking each others’ faces off at the nearest TH party. You might even catch the occasional glimpse of someone with a fat hickey on their neck—you know, those who literally look like they’ve been bitten by a vampire. Romantic, I know. But finding a relationship in college is all about checks and balances. It might seem like we are about to have a whole AP Gov talk, but it truly is.
For starters, you can’t ooze desperation—don’t chase the men. I suggest you pick up Sherry Argov’s book “Why Men Love Bitches.” Basically, the key to finding love is being confident (and making a man popcorn on the first date).
Next, everyone knows Tinder is just for hookups, so create a Bumble or Hinge profile. Hinge is especially nice because not only do people display their dating goals (looking for short-term vs. long-term relationships), but there are fun prompts for easy conversation starters. Warning though, because you might come across some disturbing voice prompts, like a certain Vassar male athlete telling you he loves “big mommy milkers.” And in case it matters to you, people are also required to have their height (how accurate they list it I cannot say), but you can often gauge from their pictures. Also, Hinge is super “no pressure” because you get to see all the people who have liked you for free, and you can just go through and match with them.
But my honest advice is: Don’t be so hung up on trying to find love. We’re so young! I too thought I wanted to just find “the one” and have a relationship, but then my housemates and I decided to start a competition to see who could go on the most free-meal first dates. Meet new people and get Olive Garden breadsticks? Win-Win! Plus, how else would you learn what you like and don’t like in a significant other?
Alternatively, if you’re ever at a TH party or College Night and experience a crush-at-first-sight moment, here’s how you can finesse that situation from a lustful hookup to an actual loving relationship. You hook up with them, but continue to text and hang out with them on a regular basis until they start to actually like you. Hopefully, you’re cute and have a good personality ’cuz otherwise this might not work out.
Here’s to hoping that if you end up hooking up with someone enough times, you might just end up together ;) Good luck, queen!